You’re walking down the street. You had time to do your hair this morning and you’re wearing a new top. You feel great. You see a gorgeous guy down the sidewalk. Your mind is racing, your eyes meet, he smiles, you smile. He could be the one. Love at first sight.

Stop right there.

What are the odds of seeing this guy again? Do you know anything about his personality? Why is he the one?

Sorry to generalize, but sometimes as women, we over think. I know, at least, for myself that when I see an opportunity that could be great, I start to plan my life around that one thing. This used to happen with relationships for me. I’d start to see a certain guy everywhere and start having imaginary conversations with him in my mind. I’d never actually talk to him, and then I’d never see him again.

There is no such thing as love at first sight.

There is lust at first sight, but you cannot love someone when you don't know anything about them.

Love comes with knowing someone. When you want to put their needs over yours, when you couldn’t live without them. Love isn’t a feeling of happiness or interest. Love is a commitment. Love is a choice every day to make it work, regardless of your feelings. Can you really make that choice about a person you just met?

Romantic comedies put this idea of love in our heads that is just not true. Love isn’t just romantic dates, candles, roses, blah, blah, blah. Things don’t always mesh that perfectly in real life, and not everyone dates strangers walking down the street.

Although, there’s always a point in rom coms where someone makes a mistake and things look like they’re over. The lovers are separated, but they decide they can’t live without each other, and there’s always a dramatic reunion. Even though there usually isn’t making out in the airport line while she’s just about to board her flight, this point in the movies does show that not everything is always great. The characters make that choice to be together at any cost.

That’s what love is. Not seeing a hot guy on the street.