I hate that bullshit that people go through, you know when they girls, ¨Oh I won't find anyone else. I really love them.¨ If someone hurts you enough that you have to convince yourself that you may be miserable at best without someone, you are downright lying to yourself. Let me tell you something about love. Love is everything and nothing at the same time. You will find love in a girl, boy, dog, flower, you may find love even in a taco. Girls especially, get so torn up about their breakups. I once knew a girl who would convince me that her boyfriend was a great guy, when I knew from the start he was not. Over and over she would tell me, ¨Just give him another chance.¨ I did not understand how she could repeatedly let this boy back into her life. I did not understand till it happened to me.
From the day I laid my eyes on this boy, I was in love. Everything he said was charming, he was walking poetry in my eyes. I left all my friends behind, gave up on everything I ever once cared about and focused on him. I found myself, skipping class to hang out with him. Staying up late on school nights hanging out with him. I let go of who I was because I loved him. For those past 10 months, he was all I saw. That is not what love is, perhaps it is a toxic kind of love. I found myself friendless and dangling by his strings. Out of nowhere he cut me off. I was lonesome and kicked in the dirt. Love is everything at once, and the next it could be nothing. Sooner than expected, I found someone who has healed my broken heart and taught me what real love is.
Before the guy I am dating now, I would date the worst kinds of boys. From scumbags, to potheads, to the occasional boy who could never put down a video game. The guy I am dating now, stumbled softly into my life. I met him when I was still in love with the guy who broke my heart and we were all friends at the time. It has been 6 months and I feel like me again. Whenever he walks into my house, I feel as if he brings warm sunshine in with his smile. Every time he laughs I get flooded with warm ocean waves, that a summer day on the beach brings. He reminds me of when I was little and all the nostalgia of being innocent and kind. Everything is so pure and simple, that is why love is everything and nothing all at once.
I have been in the boat where I feel like my world is crashing and I can no longer breathe because of some stupid boy. Forget past heartache, it will be the answer to every romantic problem. You cannot move forward when you are still focused on something bad. I have learned myself, and I promise you there are better things to come. Let it happen.
