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understanding from a point of solitude

Oct 12, 2016

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I find myself forever preoccupied with the wrong things my mind races, spins, twists, writhes around at the thought of my thoughts sometimes. at the moment I feel as if I’m a balloon rapidly filling up with hot air about to burst. Sometimes it is almost too much I feel the need for relief from this impending sense of doom backed by rage so bold the flames of hell would smolder in its wake. It is hard for others to understand the deep anger I feel at the core of my being most of the time. Sometimes myself I do not know its true source. Lately I feel the need to seek out a woman. I am becoming restless within my soul I miss the comfort of someone loving me unconditionally without any obvious reason. I miss the feeling of the warm body of my lover lying next to me at night. I miss the heartbeat of the woman I loved. All I want again is to find a woman who loves and truly understands me for me. Who will hold me when I am tired and angry and do not know what to do with myself. I honestly feel that my efforts are in vain.

One of the only things around me that makes this feeling fade is the confidence of close friends on this internal issue that worries me so. I just hope my pursuit to find someone to love, and who loves me is not in the end in vain. I know sometimes I’m not the most pleasant person in the world honestly, but the reasoning behind this is due to the fact that what I see around me is the beauty of this world repressed daily by itself I find the people and things around me stifling. I just wish that everyone could see the beauty within each other no matter how different or foreign they may seem. Take the time to sit down and learn how one another truly feel without holding back if people could practice this ritual of simple honesty. I feel as if the world would be a much more loving place. What happened to the times when the people knew that hate and misunderstanding where not the way? The world we live in is filled with ignorance and blind fear people know not what they do by hardening their hearts against all that is true. Or they do and just care not which is worse it just shows the state of our world and how much we truly need to change it is my hope that one day this world could come together and stand as one. Stand against hate, stand against fear, stand against the distrust that we have for our fellow man and embrace the beauty that truly lies within us all.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

27. When you get assigned the most incompetent group of people possible for a group project.

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