Sunlight filters through,

a circle binding more than-

My fingers to his

Life isn’t simple.

Sometimes I imagine him

loving me, again.

Endless days resume

I stand near the register

Trying, trying to

unravel from you.

Relieve myself from your smile

Claiming my Nikon

Taking the world in

the palm of my hand, knowing

They'll drift, like you.

Hold me, one last time?

You've faded in others minds

You're crystal to mine.

You've got me lying

to the one with the same eyes

the boy with the smile

Jay, my twin brother

How the monster deceives you

Who thinks money rules.

Jay, he doesn't see

The monster inside of me

Holding sanity

far away from me

By the ring around my neck.

The L word gave me

Along with the ring

life took my fiancé

to make my skin crawl.

Like the old lady

heading down the aisle towards

the cold register.

I gave her a smile

as the machine ate linen

"Thanks, have a great day!"

"Sup Kayden Rory?"

Jay, the one with my eyes smiled

Appeared, my savior.

"Ready to take off?"

To night school? No, bring me home

Though I don't reply.

"Are you alright sis?"

"I'm fine," I lie, I held the ring

tight around my neck.

"Mom's waiting at home"

He lit the cancerous stick

Home, our battlefield.

Who watches SOAPS like

there's no such thing as TiVo?

That's my mother, Jane.

Who thinks we're workers

the only reason we ‘live’

is to serve her needs.

"Bring me to school, Jay"

The boy with my same eyes sighed,

making the U-turn.

Mrs. Lovette paced,

"Embrace, the unusual."

Her saying that night.

This, is your true strength

To embrace the unusual

my unusual,

Is unbearable.

the fragments on the mirror.

If he would have stopped-

"Rory, honestly?

Take out your book, or go home.”

- Luke, could be here.

Cool air clung to me

But, perhaps not the real me?

Truly I am chilled.

Not by the brisk wind

But from the ghost who haunts me.

Keeping me here.

Home, our battlefield.

Looms over me, I enter

the dead man walking.

Her glare was ice, fire

I already lost this fight.

Retreat to the trench.

The bedrooms tattoos-

(offer me comfort, and warmth.)

-lyrics on the wall.

The door is yelling

my limbs refuse to answer-

it's my fault he's dead.

.My Nikon in hand,

I set out, capturing smiles

and laughter hidden

in the Nikon's eye.

Memories at shutter speed.

“Why hello there Miss”

Nikon flashed his lens.

Jay approached with a small grin.

I used to tell him

everything I knew.

Now the words are gum, stuck in

my stomach's digest.

"That's not a problem"

"What's not a problem?" he asks,

hugging him, I sigh.

"Forget it, alright?"

"Why are you staying? You should

be off to college-

-taking photos of

the world, not here, this town.

It's just not you Kay.”

"You need me here."

"That's a lie, I'm fine. Are you?"

Oh how my heart lurched

Brother with my eyes.

I cannot bid you adieu..

I couldn't with Luke.

Work, 7 hours a day

Life barely in existence

Wishes miles away.

He used to call me

starlight, since we only met

inside the shadows.

Now Jay stared at me.

Waiting for his sister to

recover, and smile.

Why couldn't I leave?

The monster holding me in place?

or am I doing it?

His mouth was moving

I was drowning in confusion

So I did what i knew.

Ran with all my might

Farther, and farther away.

Until my legs gave.

To Rainbow Foods,

with a tilted nametag.

Leave with 7.50 in my hands.

The counselor stared

"Is this enough for college?"

She kept chuckling.

A month has passed,

yet he still flutters to my dreams

only to be killed.

Only to be killed,

by flaming tobacco

and sharp toxins.

Coffee mugs, and plates

filled the lunchroom in a scurry

as workers departed

Stocks were replaced

as the registers chimed

and bosses hid alone.

Life was on pause

Night school resumed

life was on pause.

Colleges denied me.

my Nikon grew tired of me.

Jay gave up on me.

"Check the mail- would you?"

Jane asked, interrupting my Xbox.

“Whatever, yeah fine.”

Back outside, cold air

the mailbox out of reach

insanity on me.

In the mailbox

lay a large envelope.

addressed to me.

Savannah, Georgia.

Will you set me free? Nikon

jumped into my hands.

Dear monster,

you cease to hurt me.

Luke may be no more.

But I am here.

To stay, and challenge

you’re being.

I’ll fight for

those who cannot stand alone,

and those who pride-

Pride themselves

on the ability to be

independent.

Luke may have lost.

I’ve won something more-

to breathe with

those who cannot

and live with my Nikon.

To catch each

moment.

Along all the lines in life.

The cycle in love.

The fury in hate.

The deception in lies,

and the secret of

not you, or I but,

holy matrimony.

binding our souls.