Love Always, Anxiety | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Love Always, Anxiety

How could you leave someone who loves you so? I've kept you safe. You'll regret leaving me.

7
Love Always, Anxiety
Katie Joy Crawford: "My Anxious Heart"

Dearest Love,

As a child, I looked up at the stars and hoped that someday I'd find a way to keep them in my life forever. I worried I would lose that reminder of the chaos of the universe, but I've found it in you. The city lights neutralize every glimmering body in the sky, but none can dim the stunning way your eyes shine and sparkle with breathtaking uncertainty. My sweet, there is truly nothing comparable to the soft furrow in your brow when you catch sight of me, and nothing as flattering as feeling your heart pound in your chest when I wrap my arms around you. You're constantly ensuring me that you carry me with you wherever you go in the way your hands form tight fists as if the air were mine and you couldn't stand the thought of letting go.

I can tell that when we're together, you feel as if we're the only two beings in existence, that we're the only ones for each other. Knowing this makes me feel so powerful, like you're overcome with love for me when I cross your mind. So much so, that you shut out the world and drown in it. After all, you've told me how much I take your breath away, as if the thought of breathing my oxygen is too much, so you skip a couple breaths just to ensure my safety. You're so selfless that way, and I'm selfish that way. You're so willing to relinquish yourself. So willing to give me what I need. Whether it's your family, your friends, your health, you give it all to me. You let me take it.

If I were better, I'd let you go. I know I don't deserve you but you are, quite simply, my home. I've shacked up inside your heart and written "No Vacancy" in the tangles, so passersby know you belong only to me. Some think it clingy, possessive, but they're wrong. I know you need me just as much as I need you. Maybe more. The way you've made me a part of you makes it pretty clear that I was your first love. The first connection that changed you. You've let me become your everything, I can see it in the way you anticipate my arrival. You always know when I'm just around the corner, welcoming me with that beautiful clenched smile behind your lips.

So why are you trying to go? How could you leave someone who loves you so? I don't get it. It must just be a phase because I think you know that we'll never be apart.

You're being irrational. Come back to me and I'll make you feel alive. I'll make your body vibrate with the need to live like it used to. You'd sweat with the desperation I made you feel. The lump I left in your throat is what kept you in shape, the breath I stole from you taught you to savor every one. The way your jaw locked kept you from saying things you shouldn't and the quake in your knees saved you from pursuing things you'd only fail at. I protected you. When I rode piggy-back, my weight kept you grounded. Kept your head out of the clouds. After all, dreamers are the ones who get hurt. Wanting too much, not practicing caution.

You say I made the world close in, but all I was doing was shrinking it down to the proper size for the two of us. I needed to make it small to keep you safe, and I hope someday you appreciate that. You have no idea how much you need me. You'll regret going away.

I love you even when you spite me.

Love Always,

Anxiety

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

185500
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

11745
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

455605
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

25175
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments