It seems odd for me, an Odyssey writer, to say that I have had a love-hate relationship with writing. Actually, if you’re another Odyssey writer reading this, you probably don’t think it’s odd at all, but that’s a discussion for another article.

When I was in elementary school, I created my own short book series based on a group of friends. It was by no means a future New York Times bestseller, but I put a lot of work into creating my own literary world. I always loved to read, but writing had the appeal that I could create my own world and characters in it. This was until my fifth grade writing SOL.

For those of you who are not from Virginia, the SOL is our public schools’ standardized testing that is required for students in elementary school all the way through high school. We were doing a practice writing SOL in my class and I failed the exam because I couldn’t stay on topic with the prompt. After that day, I believed that I wasn’t a good writer.

In fact, I still believe it. I hate reading my own writing and if someone actually compliments my work I think they’re just doing it out of pity or that they’re lying to me. In middle school and early high school, the only writing I would do were the assignments that I was required to do. I would hardly ever reread them because I couldn’t stand my own writing. Once I entered high school, I had some fantastic teachers who really changed my mind about writing. They taught me how to become a better writer, but also encouraged and fostered the writer that was still somewhere inside of me. I finally enjoyed writing again.

To me, writing is one of the greatest ways to express yourself. It is such a complex art form and can be a source of joy. It can be used to make others smile or to create a sense of mutual understanding. I still don’t love my own writing and it’s hard for me to read a lot of the things I’ve written because I only see the flaws in them, but I love the act of writing. I used to feel that I couldn’t express the way I was feeling, but with writing, I can paint a picture with words that capture the thoughts in my head.

I hope to be more authentic in my work. I think almost any type of artist would tell you that they have similar goals. When writing for a platform like Odyssey, it’s hard to balance between what I want to write and what I think people want to read.

Although I tend to rant in most of my articles, these aren’t my journals. I try to use my writing through Odyssey to encourage conversation or make someone laugh or even to make someone out there feel like another person in the world understands them. I originally joined to hold myself accountable for having some sort of creative outlet and I think that it’s helped me to grow as a writer.

So, thank you for reading my writing. Whether you’ve read all of my articles (looking at you, Mom) or you’ve never read any, I’m glad that you can understand my relationship to writing better. I hope that you can find something you love whether you think you’re any good at it or not.