I recently lost my purity ring, and by lost I mean I ruined it. Oops, I had my hands in a bucket of cleaning water with bleach. I have worn that ring every day for years, and without it, I have felt naked. With no ring to flaunt my purity, is it even worth it to abstain from sex before marriage?
I grew up attending church every Sunday, and I went to a Christian youth camp each summer. That is where I declared my soul “saved,” and where I pledged to save myself for my future husband. My church never had a purity promise ceremony, but in high school, my parents got me the ring I begged for.
It has been four years since I got my ring, and almost nine since my first year at summer camp. In that time, I have changed in so many ways, and one of the biggest changes has been in my faith. I am now more than a young woman who calls myself a “Christian.” I am a passionate lover of Christ. I am in a beautiful relationship with my God. I love the love that I receive from Christ. Overall, I have found that before I was religious. Now I am faithful.
It took years for this shift to take place. There was a lot of self-reflection, rereading Bible verses and even a change in churches. Through these changes, the one thing that remained constant was my pledge of abstinence. I still wore my purity ring every day.
It was not until losing my ring that I begin to reflect on that part of my faith. I can now see that when I begged for that ring, it was so that I would appear righteous and look like a good “Christian.” Everyone would know that I was adhering to 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Romans 13:13. Everyone would be so proud. I was off— way off— when I made that promise. I pledged to abstain from sex before marriage for all the wrong reasons. I am thankful now that I can keep my promise with a new outlook on why I promised to remain pure for my future husband.
Now, without my ring to show the world that I am abstinent, I take my promise more seriously than ever. I still hold the verses above close to my heart. Those words are still truthful. The difference is in how I understand those words. I am now obedient not because I should be, but because I want to be, and I believe in my heart that this pleases the Lord. I also believe that when you marry, “The two are united into one since they are no longer two, but one.” (Mark 10:8). There is not a more beautiful way to celebrate a spiritual unity than with a physical unity that is a unique experience that is just between you and your partner.
Years ago, I would have imagined myself dying if I lost the ring that meant so much to me. Today I am thankful. The promise that I made so long ago is no longer a chore or a duty, but it is an important part of my relationship with God and who I am. With my new perspective, I see that abstinence is about love and intimacy and that is more beautiful than any ring I have ever had.
