Growing up we are always taught to mind our manners, not to cut in front of others, share our belongings, and to treat others just as we would want to be treated. Girls were taught to be ladies and boys were shown how to be chivalrous. However, somehow over the years something seems to have been lost. We became a culture enamored by self-gratification and fulfilling our own passions and desires no matter what that meant for another.
Sadly, this has been such the case in many relationships and the legacy of respect has been pushed under the rug. We came to the conclusion that it’s okay to lust because “boys will just be boys,” girls have to give their bodies away in order to be loved and wanted, guys must keep a score of all their conquests, and girls should accept degradation and sacrifice respect in order to be desired. We seem to have even forgotten the definition of respect.
When I think of love, often the first attribute that comes to mind is a mutual respect for one another. If you lack respect, there is a good chance true relentless love is lacking. Respect is not merely accepting all parts of another, respect is cherishing their mind, heart, soul, and body and protecting those things at all cost. If you respect their mind, you will encourage them to be all that they desire to be and you will use your words to build them up and never to tear them down. If you respect their heart, you will guard their emotions with tender care and never manipulate or play with them for your own advantage.
If you respect their soul, you will pursue them in such a way as to know their inner most parts and choose to accept and love all the rooms no matter how dark or scarred, and especially choose to accept the parts that clash with yours. If you respect their body, you will agree that no means no and stop means stop. You will protect their purity, you will treat their body with special care, and you will honor the sanctity of your commitment to them by forsaking all others with your eyes, heart, and mind not just your body. Respect is far more than being “nice,” respect is upholding and recognizing the worth of that person and sometimes choosing to lay aside yourself and your desires to honor their individual worth.
Lastly, respect isn’t always just for another person. Respect must be graciously received inwardly and you must remember your worth. Love is a choice, but just because you made the choice doesn’t mean that love is right for you. Never ever settle for any kind of abuse or manipulation masqueraded as love. If he/she loves you, you won’t have to convince yourself or that person that you are worth something.
Abuse can be obvious, but it can also be subtle. If he/she is pushing you to sleep with them, whether you have before or not and you say no, that means no. If he/she is accusing you of things just to shame you and seclude you away from hanging out with your friends or family, that is not love. No matter what it is, do not stay silent, do not accept the behavior, do not settle for less because you simply think you’ve gone too far to turn back. Also, never let anyone convince you that you cannot be loved or heard by another, because the truth is far from that.
You are worth being pursued and treated with special care.
You deserve respect in every form.
I assure you that you truly deserve the best.
