Look we all saw the news about OSU doing a "historical" virtual graduation. I get that it's historical as I haven't heard of any other school doing it. But I'm a bit salty about that choice. Maybe it's because OSU didn't have the heart to tell that to the students first hand but rather they felt the news companies needed that information first.

Another thing that makes me a bit upset about this whole pandemic situation is that I'm secretly a big softie. I hate knowing that I never had a proper goodbye with any of my friends that I would probably see for the last time. Like my friends going to grad school in a different state? Or my other friend going to her full time job in Texas (I hate the heat so catch me never there)? How about even my co-workers that I shared trauma with? I'm going to honestly miss my time as OSU and I was robbed without a proper goodbye.

I wish that I knew it was my last. I would've explored more. I would've actually checked out some more books. I would've gotten more drunk at bars. My friend snapped me the other day during his run and said this would've been perfect drinking weather. And to say that I didn't tear up a bit reading that would be false.

I even came back early from home during the normal Spring Break because I was excited to finish off the semester and even vote the following Tuesday. I finally remembered my water bottle that I forgot since Thanksgiving Break. I finally remembered to bring it back to school so I can scan my Fill it Forward barcode. But it was sadly cut too short.

I was so excited for my capstone. How many people can say that? I'm a computer science and engineering major. My capstone was the Video Game Design class. It was so much fun to design a video game from scratch with like-minded individuals. I was so excited to show it off, design a cover art for it, the whole 10 miles. I kept talking about it with my friends and told them they should come check it out since it was at the Union. It was going to be a great time and I was excited to show off this product that I created.

Sadly, my sorority's biggest event was canceled. It's essentially a redo prom for students who didn't get a chance in high school to be who they are. There was going to be a raffle for some gift cards to Evolved. I was about to donate my entire bank account (a solid 5 bucks) to that. The money also went to a good cause so no harm if I got a gift card to feed my newly formed piercing addiction, it would be donated to a cause that helped LGBTQ+ youths. The real fun part is getting to dress up and having fun with friends :) But I won't get to experience any of that now. All of that is as good as gone since I'm graduating. Asking for a friend, but when is wearing a blue velvet dress and an over-sized black and white checked men's blazer appropriate in the corporate world?

I've given my time here at this school. Nothing is perfect and I know I am far from that as well. Not all the blame is to the school. Some of the blame goes to those that don't believe in this or are blaming the wrong party. Or for calling the police on underprivileged communities. To the people who are dealing with xenophobia and racist comments to me and my fellow Asian Americans. We are now in this together. I've lost once in a lifetime experiences from this pandemic. But I haven't lost a loved one yet, which I know I'm grateful for. I am willing to give up these experiences if it means that lives will be saved. I'm upset for the loss I'm facing, but it can be worse. We have to sacrifice this time and be sure that we work for a better future rather than going back to where we were. Where we were is what got us here, the lack of support to the healthcare system, having healthcare tied to your employment, having hospitals be for profit, having to choose who gets to live or die due to lack of resources, or funding to the healthcare workers. This should have no reason to be in our history books twice.