To The Person Who Is Lost,
You are not lost. You are striving to find yourself, and everybody has their own way of finding themselves. You adjust your day just as the current does with the pull from the moon. You are always wanting to better yourself but find a hard time implementing it when you are constantly consumed with other people's worries and doubts. You eventually go along with carrying the people you care most dearly about. You lose everything such as friends, family, job and even including yourself.
You are broken. You look at everything in your life and try to put the puzzles pieces back together but then realize your puzzle pieces are shattered glass. These pieces can no longer be put together. You are vulnerable and it scares you to the core because you have cut off emotion for so long that you do not know how to feel. This is me two months ago.
Here. I look at myself in the mirror every day and tell myself how awesome of a person I am. Throughout my childhood, I never got positive reaffirmation. I was never told by both of my parents how proud they were of me. I looked in a reflection every day of a child who sought after the constant approval of others. My counselor always asked me why I felt the need for constant approval of others. Why did I feel the need to ask for every single person's advice? It does not stem back towards my parents or my upbringing.
The answers lie within myself. I was not happy with myself ever growing up. I constantly was comparing myself towards other people. When I was little, all I ever wanted to be was Peter Pan. I wanted to escape the reality of life when in all reality all I wanted to do was find myself. Find the boy who somehow lost his way. I lost my way throughout life, and that has hurt me and the people who I care most deeply about. Some people say that I have lost my confidence from my first semester in college.
This is true to an extent but the thing is, I can finally say now that since I have hit rock bottom the only way to go is up. I can only start to build my confidence from within as I start at ground zero. A new confidence has emerged from within me. So, I am not going to be Peter Pan anymore, from here on out I am me.
I will do as I please, I will make my own decisions and I will be happy with myself.
