“If only we knew the things we know—this is a question ages old,” Tall Heights “Spirit Cold.”

What would you do tomorrow if you already knew what was going to happen. Would you still take the same route to avoid traffic? Would you still do what you always do?

Regardless of your motive, life is very short and there is something I learned this year that is relatable to all of us.

As we change day-in and day-out, time is the only thing that keeps ticking. It is like an eternal heartbeat that can never die, yet it never ages. If we knew the things about tomorrow such as death or friendships, what would be the point of living?

I have experienced death a lot in my life, but for the first time I had a strong emotional connection with a being that is hard to find in people—my dog. Her name was Fiona, Fatty for short, and we adopted her in 2011 where she was previously abused and mistreated. Before we got her, I was having my own battle within myself and, in a way, it was a new beginning for both of us.

As 6 years flew by, we became best friends. Every Friday when I came home from college I would lay on the floor and she would bark about her day as I gave her a weekly rub-down. Every night we would play hide-and-seek with her blanket, and at times it seemed as everything in the world didn’t matter anymore. Who knew that a dog, so furry and loud, could take the weight of the world off of your shoulders. In a way, she became the reason I would smile when it was hard to…adulting is hard and there should be a manual…it’s fine.

Last week, an infection struck her hard and when we thought everything was getting better. It took a turn for the worse and we ultimately had to make the hardest decision as a family to put her down. When I looked into her eyes in the last few minutes, I saw the expression of exhaustion but such love…oh so much love. This dog was more than loved and as we held her head in her dying breath, I couldn’t help but tell her that it was going to be okay. My mom and I said an Our Father over her, our exchange student rested her head on my shoulder as we all cried uncontrollably and in my prayer I thanked God for the best furry friend anyone could ever ask for.

The funny thing about life is that when you see pain, regardless if they’re human or animal, it will make feel empty and question everything about yourself. We are bound to experience pain whether it’s because of death or love, but it’s all around us. I loved this dog and I have to say out of all of them, she was my favorite—but this whole experience taught me something that it takes a lifetime for people to understand.

If we ever knew the outcomes of life, would it be worth living? If I knew that adopting her and only having a small amount of time with her was going to hurt, would I still do it again? The answer is heck yes.

You see, Jesus lived his life knowing his purpose was to die on a cross. We all live our lives knowing that one day, we too have to die—but animals don’t understand that, yet they love so unconditionally regardless of fate.

As much as I wish God could have given us more time with her, I know he would say, “Lea, but what if all you wanted WAS time, how would that make you a better person?” For those of you still reading, while time is always ticking, our clocks have a timer. We don’t know how much time we have on earth or who we’re going to impact, but if we already knew the adventures and the pains we were going to feel, we wouldn’t be living at all. If we knew what tomorrow involved, what would be the purpose of waking up the next morning?

She may have just been a dog, but I loved that dog more than anything. Through every bad relationship, she was there to make me laugh while the other one kept eating his own poop—so gross. While I got dressed for an evening out, she would come in the room to wag her tail hello and if she stayed longer than two-minutes you knew darn well you had to change because that outfit just didn’t work. (not even kidding)

Your life is short and you NEVER KNOW what the next hour will bring you. God called our dog home faster than we were able to catch a falling glass and for a while, I hated him for it. But ultimately God has a plan for everything and sometimes he needs to take some angels home from us in the process in order for us to see that plan. As I write this, I have one message for God:

“God, as much as you bless me with the good and bad times…thank you. Thank you for blessing our dog with the most amazing six years with our crazy and obnoxious family, and thank you for letting her bless us with the concept that life is life…there are no rules on how you should live it. Yeah, she barked at the neighbors EVERY morning, and sometimes you just have to let things happen and you can’t control them. Father, I don’t know what your plan is in life, but I can’t wait to find out when I get back home.”

Rest in peace my favorite furry friend. I can’t wait to see you again in eternity where just like time on earth, the hands will never stop ticking. While you're gone, we will make sure to take care of your best friend.