Losing someone you love is extremely hard, especially when it is sudden and unexpected, but losing someone you love while away at college is horrible. I am a freshman in my second semester at college, and so far I have lost two very important people to me, both which I was devastated by. There really aren't enough words to describe the way you feel when getting a call from your parents explaining that someone you thought would be there in your life forever is suddenly no longer around, but I am going to do my best to explain as best as I possibly can.
At first you feel so numb, you don't want to believe it. I mean why would you? How can you believe something that will drastically change your life while being told over the phone? You aren't sure what to say or do, you aren't sure if it is real or fake, but mostly you aren't sure who to go to. When we lose someone extremely close to us, such as a family member, we normally share the grief with other family members and mourn together, but while you're away at college, things are so different. You don't have your family to cry to, you don't have anyone to mourn with, but you have to remember you have friends and you need to appreciate them during this time.
Almost everyone has lost someone before, so your friends will understand how you're hurting and they are going to try and be there for you as much as possible and this is the moment where you need to let them help you. I hate admitting when I am sad because I always try and act strong for others, but this is the time you need to let the return the favor and let them help you for a change. Your friends are your 'college family', let them in and allow them to be there for you.
Next you're going to try and tell yourself you're okay, and know it's perfectly fine if you're not. It's going to hurt, a lot. You aren't sure how to handle this news since you aren't physically with your family. You're going to try and go on about your day like normal because you think keeping in routine is going to help but allow yourself to slow down. It's okay to hurt in order to take it all in. You're going to want alone time and that's okay, but just remember to allow others in from time to time.
Lastly, you're going to cry. Allow yourself to cry as much as possible and don't keep it in. Let it all out, allow your friends to give you their shoulders to cry and remind yourself that everything will eventually be okay. This time away from family is hard enough as it is, but unfortunately it's harder when a devastating situation is to occur at home and you are not there to experience this with those most important people in your life.
The most important thing to remember through all of this is that your school and professors will be more than understanding with your situation. It may seem stressful having to rearrange your schedule in order to travel home, but they will help you out as much as they can because it is never easy losing someone you love and most professors are generous enough to do whatever they can to help you through this process.
Keep your head up and keep smiling. I know it hurts right now but in the end everything will be okay you need to remember that. You can get through this, I know you can, I promise.
