Five years ago on October 13th, I lost my best friend, my mommy. These last few years have been the hardest I have ever been though. I've made it out on top, but it took so much strength to do.
No one really knows exactly how you feel when you lose your parent. It's not something that people can compare because its one of those incomparable experiences for anyone that has ever went through it. Honestly, I felt like someone had snatched my heart out of my chest. My grandma had just died a few days before, so, neither me nor my sister were going to school the terrible morning everything happened, because we were going to the funeral. I was already having a sad and horrible day, when my whole world turned upside down forever. I won't go into details, but just know, it was something you don't want to ever experience. Seeing my mom struggle to catch her breath was a imagine that I saw the rest of that year at the same time every morning.
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After that horrible experience, I looked at life completely different. It was the first time I had ever went through something like that and honestly, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Back then, when it first happened, I was mad at the world. As I've grown older, I've realized that maybe it was for the best. Of course, no one wants to lose a parent but she can finally rest without pain now. I miss my mommy, believe me, but I know she's in a much, much better place. She has no more worries. In a crazy way, she is actually much better off. With the way the world is today, I wouldn't wish her back here for nothing.
Five years later, I've graduated high school and grown up so much. I know that she's looking down on my sister and I and I know she's proud of all of our accomplishments. I thank her for teaching me how to be strong and I also thank her for protecting me every night. From the time I was a newborn until I was 14, she taught me so many things that I still use today.
I see kids all the time that disrespect their parents and it makes me wonder, exactly how they would act if they too had lost their mom. Of course, when I was younger, I took everything and everyone for granted. I guess I never thought that I would go through something so traumatic. I wish kids understood that they won't have their parents forever and that they should cherish every moment they get to spend with them. I do wish that I could go back and change the way I acted sometimes, but then again, when I acted bad, she whopped me. I think it's safe to say, I got the punishments I deserved. I thank her for those whoppings though, I deserved them most of the time. Mama didn't play.
Moral to the story, count your blessings and live your life to the fullest, you never know when it's your time or the time for the people around you, my mom was only 40 when she passed away. She's truly missed by everyone. Mama will forever live on.
"I can no longer see you with my eyes, touch you with my hands, but I will feel you in my heart forever."
I love you mommy, always have and always will.
