Death.

Everyone loses a loved one.

Death has rendered itself throughout this lifetime through tragedies. Finding a way to change someone's world. Each being in their own unique way: suicide, accidents, murder, or health issues.

My heart hurts because at any given moment in time, someone can be taken from you.

What hurts the most is the feeling you get after receiving the news. Shock. Reality hasn't set in but the idea of loss continues to flow throughout your mind. No matter how hard you want to just forget death, it always finds a way to creep back in.

Mourning is hard. I haven't quite grasped the concept of how healing takes place. I have found my life in Christ but there comes a point of questioning. Never once have I questioned my creator but I have questioned "why?" How could something like this happen?

Time is a mixture of going by really fast but also really slow. Thoughts of what if or how come, always circle through your heart and soul. What would life be like if they could have had a second chance? What if they would have made it out alive?

Understanding God's plan is really hard. I know he has had our lives paved before we were born, but how come this given point in time had to happen?

I think in losing someone, it becomes easy to just take a look at life in a different light. Things become so blurry but yet so clear. Taking a life for granted vanishes. Memories and stories begin to overflow. Rejoicing in a life that has been taken away takes place. Relationships that are still on Earth with us begin to mean so much more. Loving harder takes place, belly laughing and even gut wrenching tears arise. You begin to realize that "living today like it's last" is one full of truth.

Through this journey of death, I cannot help but relive the life I once had cherished. The bond and joy that was formed. The love that was evident. Death cannot change that. A presence is taken away but one has taken it's place.

Jesus's.

In the midst of the confusion and questioning, he always makes himself known. Whether it be the overflowing of gratitude or uplifting messages to the way the sun is shining, he is there. I think knowing he has a plan and a course of action gives the only sense of peace.

They finished their course. God's journey for them was completed.

It makes you question what did they do before they passed that completed their quest here in this temporary home? Was it a simple smile and hug or was it the laughter spread to a lost soul? We will never know but I cannot wait to see how God unfolds his plan.

The path is rocky and I have found myself and others stumbling quite frequently. As much as I want it to be a smooth journey to healing, I know every knick in the road just means there is a purpose.

I am so thankful to have a God who knows this world better than you and me. Who knows how to give peace in the midst of chaos and healing in the time of pain. A God who has given us time with loved ones and a purpose for life.

I pray that in the time of confusion, he becomes more clear. I pray that when I or others are weak, he becomes my strength. When I cannot see another day, he reminds me of my purpose. When pain takes over that joy is yet to come. In the end, when I am feeling lonely, I am reminded of the greatest love of all there was. I am reminded of Jesus Christ and his sacrifice he made for you and me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future"- Jeremiah 29:11