The hardest part is probably knowing it’s going to happen.

When I entered college my freshman year, I cried constantly about the thought of losing my grandpa. See, my grandpa’s health had been decreasing for a while, so the outcome was inevitable. My family told me that he would be okay, and they would keep me updated on his health.

There were several close calls during my first year, but we got more time with him. During the summer between my sophomore and junior year, the worst became a reality. I lost my best friend and biggest supporter. I fell to my knees in my driveway and had to physically be brought to my feet by a family friend. That amount of pain should never be felt by anyone.

The next weeks were the worst. People telling me “they understood” or that “he is in a better place”, may be true, but wouldn’t help in the time of grief that deep. When it came time to go back to school, I was more than ready to leave my hometown; every place I went had a memory of my grandpa. I left for Evansville and didn't look back. The first few days were fine, settling back in and reconnecting with my friends.

Then it hit me.

I was a click away from calling my grandpa to tell him about my classes. When I wanted to be comforted by my family, I was only able to call them. I felt alone and misunderstood by the world around me. All I wanted was a hug from my grandpa or anyone else that felt my pain.

If you are away at college, or even if you aren't, know that you are not alone in your grieving. There will be moments that feel like the world is crashing around you, but it will be okay. Being away from family is probably the hardest part of going away to school, but it will be worth it in the end. You are making your loved ones proud, even when you may not feel that way.

There are people around you that are going through grief as well and you might not even know it. Your pain is real and no one can tell you how to feel in this time of pain. It is okay to cry, be angry, be in denial, etc; it is all normal. You are not alone.