Death is something you cannot escape and run from and is something that I have not been too familiar with. I have been lucky enough to not have many deaths within my family. I have been lucky enough to not have to attend many funerals. I have been lucky to not have extreme health issues take away loved ones. But, my family and I have went threw the unthinkable this past summer. Leukemia struck my younger cousin and he became my family's guardian angel. It didn't seem real when I was told the news and didn't feel real at the funeral until he was brought down the aisle. It is hard to think that he is not with us anymore. It is absolutely heartbreaking.
I got the news at work that my cousin had passed, so keeping the tears in was hard. I didn't cry at all actually. I was one hundred percent grieving, but in a different way. At the funeral, I balled. I didn't think I would cry the way that I did, as well as my siblings. Losing an older relative is tough but when it is a young child, it's a whole different emotion. I never saw my grandfather cry until that day. It is hard to fathom that this happened to a child. Why this disease? Why was it him? Why is it anyone? It is not fair.
Vacations and holidays are not going to be the same again and that is hard to think about. My grandparents are not going to be the same again. My aunt and uncle will never be the same again. We as a family can only grow from this and become stronger. Each day will get easier and easier but my cousin will still be in the back of my family's minds. My cousin has been on my mind a lot lately, as well as his siblings. Losing him makes me cherish my family more and more and makes me grateful that I have my sisters with me here today.
To anyone who has lost someone close to you whether it be family or friends, my heart goes out to you. I now understand what it is like to go through death and how I handle it. It will still be hard on my family as the days, weeks, months, and years go on but I know my cousin is looking down at his parents and brothers smiling. We lost you too soon.
