By now, I believe every girl can say they have lost a friend to their new, controlling boyfriend. Yes, we want them to be nothing less than happy and in love but since when did that mean you can’t obtain friendships? It truly is devastating losing a friend and not being able to help them because no matter what you say, it will go through one ear and out the other. They no longer hear you out or pay attention to you and it is not because we are jealous that we are not in a relationship.

We can live without a boy but we can’t live without our friends. Friends build us to be better people or drive us home at night when you have had too much to drink even though you are puking every 10 minutes and they have to stop and make sure your hair is pulled back. You didn’t have a boyfriend when this happened but now that you do, we can’t live out our youth together and create memories. Boyfriends are so temporary at our age and we forget that we have other priorities to assist too as well.

It’s not that I don’t want to be your friend because I still am, but are you still mine? I’m sure you said yes automatically just because I am still around when you need a few bucks or someone to gossip too. Our only connection has been a phone and I would much rather see your face and hear your voice if that’s not too much to ask for? I miss the sleepovers, late night adventures to McDonalds and especially the embarrassing moments when I say a guy is hot so you tell him, “Hey my friend thinks you’re hot!” Can we also reminisce on the time you ruined Santa Clause for me or the times we always wore matching shirts in middle school? Is your answer still yes?

“You don’t understand,” is definitely one of your most famous lines recently. Little do you know how much it hurts that you think I’m not understanding because I haven’t been in a serious relationship. As much as that is true, I actually do understand. You are changing every day the longer you are with him and I have made observations along the way. In fact, your relationship has given me a better visual on how not to act or become in a relationship and I can’t thank you enough for the lesson. I am a hundred percent supportive of your relationship and will always be there when things are not always the brightest, but you need to understand that I am not at my brightest.

It’s exhausting trying to help someone who doesn’t want to be helped but imagine fighting for someone’s attention that only has eyes and ears for one person? I feel dead from living every day with the thought of coming in last place. It’s all about him and never about us but outside of your romantic fairy tale you need me more than you will ever need him. Our friendship has become toxic and the arguing, silence, and broken promises are poison I have been sipping every day. It hasn’t killed me yet but I'll eventually drink enough to the point where this pain is gone.

Your relationship has changed me in ways where I feel less than a person. It’s not that you have necessarily ruined me but I can honestly say you no longer feel like a friend. You are lost and distant from the reality of everything around you all because of three words that are spoken from his lips but not felt in his heart.