Continued from Part 1.
The church I was attending usually keeps itself apart from any kind of political affiliations. However, in the heat of all that was going on in our country, the sign out in front was screaming of it. At first look, it appears harmless enough. It read, “Pray for and support our police officers.” Well, yes, of course nobody really wants our police to be killed on purpose. So, yes, pray for them!
Wait a minute, though.
What about everyone else that is being put in the line of fire? What about the deep pain so many were feeling at that moment in the light of all that had been happening? The underlying message here was, #BlueLivesMatter. Forget that God’s other children are being murdered in their communities just because they’re gay or look different than you. They settled on continuing the apathy so many white evangelicals have concerning the oppression that has been going on for centuries.
I figured that, if they were going to publicly put this message on their sign outside and on their Facebook page, then I was publicly going to question it. I asked why there wasn’t prayer being asked for Orlando or the families of the two men recently murdered by police. Sadly, the response was a typical corporate whitewashed retort that wasn’t even their own! They copy and pasted another pastor’s words! This “statement” still ignored my question as to why police were singled out.
I could no longer find a reason to continue going to this establishment if the oppression of a whole race of people was going to be ignored. It was quite apparent that they were finding reasons to support their quiet racist attitudes. I should have known this wasn’t far behind their stance on modern feminism!
I have been so angry since, with the elders, with the preacher and those who whole-heartedly supported their “excuse.” I angrily posted about anyone taking such a stance. I used lots of colorful words. Words I had suppressed myself from using for fear of staining the view of what a Christian should look like. I no longer wanted to look like my so-called “friends” from that church. They disgusted me. I immediately received a quick backlash. An elder’s wife even sent me a private message telling me I didn’t need to cuss and she didn’t like seeing it in her timeline. I held myself together and responded to her swiftly and with a force like no other. But, I did not cuss.
On Facebook, I stated, with even more colorful words, that if anyone took any issue with what I said and how I said it, they could exit. Two “friends” took this as a chance to indict me on my lack of being an active Christian. That I didn’t do enough for the church and that it was basically my fault that I was seeing things so incorrectly.
It was true that I helped out the church only on Sunday’s at the information table. I really have very little time for more. I am the mother of two kids who participated in after school activities. I was working full-time and on my off time trying to catch up on everything around the house that my chronically-ill husband just cannot.
So, I apologize that I could not be at the church every waking hour like the two of them. Since when was that the measure of my faithfulness to God? Do I need to pull up all the articles written by pastors about mission burn out?
Following all that, a couple of the ladies got together to attempt to have me fired. Mind you, up until that point, not one complaint had been made to my managers. Quite the opposite had actually been done! Immediately following this one in particular began complaining that I was falling short. I saw trouble coming with this person. She was making me feel like I could no longer trust that my job was safe. I was right. Lies were told to attempt to get me fired. Thankfully, I had already made them aware of how I felt and what was going on. They didn’t believe a word of it. I was told not to worry about my standing with them and they would find someone else for me to take care of.
Since my church confrontation, neither elder nor the pastor attempted to discuss anything with me. Members of the congregation were plenty vocal. They suggested that I “get over it.” I was told that racism would always exist so there was nothing to be done. The lady who was after my job made comments that I should have been more attentive to, “You really need to learn what battles to pick.”
The funniest part to me was this very same person pointed out several Facebook posts from an elder’s wife that were “borderline racist.” HER WORDS!
After the silent protest of kneeling during the national anthem I was very vocal in calling out the opposition. I even pointed out how the anthem can be seen as racist itself. Hell, I’ve already offended a whole church, why not everyone else on my timeline? Now, my in-laws chimed in on how blind I was. Me? One began her argument by copying what Wikipedia had to say about the national anthem. The first thing I learned when I went back to college was that not one class will accept any citing from that website. I’ll leave it up to you to discover why.
Once I responded to her in as calm and respectful of a way as I could, more of that family chimed in to refute anything I had to say. They were unwilling to see any intelligent information as to how their viewpoints were supportive of systemic racism. I knew eventually I would get opposition from them because several had already been vocally supportive of Donald Trump and of their hatred of Barack Obama by way of using those wonderfully factual memes that get spread all over the place. The negativity rolling off of them led my husband and I to distance ourselves from them.
I have offended the blind so much that many have taken anything I say, regardless of how sensitively I approach it, to the upmost extreme. The latest was the hardest.
This friend in particular had been very quiet towards me since I woke up. I had suspected that she was offended in some form because, when there was any interaction it, it was short and to the point. I honestly was afraid to talk to her about it for fear of losing her as a friend. The people that I had lost up to this point weren’t people that I held close to my heart. This one, I did.
The moment I made a comment on a post of hers, which didn’t stroke her ego or coddle
I had to come to the realization that this was a friendship that existed only in my head, as were all the others that chose to walk away or that had attempted to villanize me. The friends that choose to remain and stay active in my life are my true friends. Why would anyone want to keep friendships with those who want you to fall in line with their oppressive thinking? Several of these that remain, I am finding we are drawing closer to one another’s hearts. The seasons have changed and it isn’t easy, but I like it.
I like the person that I am being transformed into.
