Last week, I wrote about an ex best friend who completely crushed me as a person. Through the whole process, I lost pieces of myself that made me who I am. Essentially, I was broken and I couldn't figure out who I was anymore. It was an uneasy feeling that I carried for months. But through the hardship, I was eventually able to regain what I lost through the three people who helped me with everything. I tried so hard to find what I had lost to help me feel whole again but I realized that I didn't have to search so hard. They were all around me in the people who I had met along the way. They picked me up and made me believe in self-worth, trust, and friendship again. They don't know how thankful I am but this is how they helped me find what I had lost.
Self-Worth
When I lost my friend, I didn't think I was worthy of her friendship. It was as if I didn't matter. I thought there was something wrong with me and I lost a sense of self-worth. I couldn't love myself. It turns out that in the end, a friend who I had met through my ex best friend would soon help me through a lot. From the moment I met him, he was sassy, honest, and didn't need anyone's approval. He was exactly the type of person I needed in my life. He was everything I wish I could be. But most of all, he loved me for me. He didn't need me to be anyone else and I didn't have to act like anyone else. Our conversations were genuine and true. I could connect with him the most because he went through the same thing I did with my ex best friend. He knew what I was going through and he gave me the power to move forward. He made me feel amazing the way I am and he taught me that I don't need approval from anyone as long as I knew my own worth.
Trust
I found trust in a friend who has supported me through all the years I have known her. She let me be myself and showed me that I can open up without being so scared of betrayal. She helped me break down my walls. She trusted me and I trusted her. My ability to trust was shook for a while after the whole incident but she made me naturally trust her with my problems, big or little. She always gave the best advice. She showed me understanding and compassion. She never judged me for my mistakes or for who I was underneath my outside persona. She helped me through my darkest days and I can't thank her enough for what she showed me beyond high school. She made me trust not only in the future but also in myself. I went to her when I needed to vent or simply to just be with someone. She made me feel beautiful in every way and she inspired me to be a person who could share my compassion with the world. I think everyone needs someone like her in their lives. I felt secure with her and she was a safe place for me in a world of chaos.
Friendship
It's funny the way things work out because after I lost my best friend, I thought that there was no such thing as true friendships and that they would eventually always break. I was scared to get close to anyone and to let anyone in the way I let my ex best friend in. I didn't think I would have a more epic friendship than the one I had. It turns out that there was a friend that I would meet who would show me a better friendship than the one I left behind. We were in the same math class for a whole year and even sat with each other for the first semester but didn't start talking until the second semester. I have only known her for a couple of months and I feel more secure in this friendship than the one before. In my last article, I talked about all the things I missed with my ex best friend; the fashion show, prom, graduation. Just because I missed it with her doesn't mean I was alone. I had a new friend who would walk the runway with me, danced with me at prom, and stand behind me at graduation. It was the opposite of everything I hated about my friendship before. I could trust her, she made me feel loved, and it was so easy. She encompassed everything I thought I would never believe in again: trust, self-worth, love, friendship, etc. Out of all my friends, she is the one I most recently met but we instantly became best friends. I realized that the number of years don't define a friendship but the way in which it progresses and feels. I feel happy and comfortable with her. I feel free. I spent a week in Korea with her and we bonded more. Our families are close and it feels as though I have enough to say that I can see my future with her. She will be the one who stands next to me at my wedding and be there for me when I go through heartbreak. Our families will go on road trips together. She will dance in the rain with me or build sand castles with me. We will make stupid mistakes together. For now, we are only roommates at our college. I have so many memories with her already and I can't wait for what the future holds for us. Everyone has a "friend soulmate" and she is mine. She has taught me so much about genuine friendship and gave me the most important thing I lost: friendship.
These people greatly influenced my senior year in high school and I know they will continue to do so in my future. They impacted me and changed me for the better. They helped me pick up the pieces and move forward. I can't thank them enough for all they are to me. I lost some pretty important things about myself in the last year but they helped me find them and come out of it more whole than before.
