I find the phrase "never have I ever had sex" to be a pretty effective answer in a round of "Never Have I Ever," because it is always guaranteed to take at least a few people out in a round. Although the last time I played this game, someone gave an altered version of this phrase: They said "never have I ever lost my virginity." This prompted a question that nobody had a clear answer to: What does it mean to lose your virginity? Within that circle, some people thought it meant having full-on sex, others thought it meant fellatio or getting fingered, and some ladies thought it meant breaking their hymen.
The truth is, there's no clear answer because in 2016, the concept of "losing your virginity" is antiquated and unnecessary. The definition of the word "virgin" is "not yet touched, used, or exploited." We are all born virgins. When we first enter this world, we don't know jealousy, anger, hate, evil, or vulgarity. As we grow older, we are exposed more to the world and we start hearing our parents swear during football games when the opposing team gets a touchdown, or we get jealous when our 7th grade crushes like somebody else, and we start hearing about bombings and shootings on the news; with each thing we're exposed to, we become slightly more tainted. It's inevitable, as we are exposed to the more advanced, adult parts of the world, that we lose the naivete we were born with. As we're exposed to these facets of the world, we eventually start experimenting and having famous "firsts": first kiss, first cigarette, first time getting drunk, and the list goes on. In terms of losing the innocence and purity that we supposedly have as "virgins," is that only lost by having sex? There are lots of ways to lose innocence and purity, many much darker than a first sexual experience.
Sex is beautiful. Any sexual act is an incredibly intimate thing you can share with somebody else, and it's nature's way of being able to feel pure ecstasy and bliss, if only for a moment. When someone experiences sex for the first time, to any degree, it shouldn't be something they "lose"; it should be something they gain. As long as the sexual act is consensual, the world of sex is a beautiful thing to be exposed to; it's an awakening to a beautiful world of the most intimate feeling. Truthfully, the only thing a person loses after having sex for the first time is the ability to say "I've never had sex." Just like you can't say "I've never eaten spaghetti" after eating spaghetti for the first time. The amount of things you gain from awakening to your sexual side heavily outweigh the things you lose.
So whenever the time comes that you first have your first big sexual experience and you freak out and want to tell your best friend, consider texting them to tell them "I just had sex for the first time!" instead of "I just lost my virginity!"
