I figured that if I was going to write this post, I should do it and post it before college classes actually start back up. I wouldn’t want to make a kid sitting alone in their dorm room after their parents have left any sadder or more scared then they already feel. But as time passes, this is an inevitable subject and it is really personal to me. I didn’t actually think I would write about this for a while, as the pain is still fresh, but I think it might help others so I am going to talk about it today.
When you first start thinking about getting a pet you never consider what it is going to be like when they pass. You think of the awesome things you’ll do with them, where you will go together and what costume they will wear for Halloween. I think that it is a good thing, because the idea of losing a pet is hard and you shouldn’t think of the end before you have even started.
When I think back on all the fun things I used to do with my dog, Sumo, I am happy. The thought of these happy times and the loving dog at home helped me get through some really tough situations during my freshman year. That is why emotional assistance animals are so effective. There is almost nothing to compare to the love you can receive from an animal.
When you first leave you home for college it is going to be tough. If your dog is anything like mine was, then they might sit on the stairs and wait for you to get back. It might not hit you that you are actually alone until you have settled into your new home and have time to think. This is good because by the time it hits you the school year starts and you are often too busy to think about it. That's the great thing about college -- your new surroundings can often lessen the ache that you feel from being separated.
It isn’t all bad, though; if you’re the youngest child, like me, then it means that your pet is getting pampered like the queen of Sheba. I remember my freshman year, I called home and my parents told me how they had loaded Sumo in the car and driven around so he could stick his head out the window. Most parents need a child to comfort and love, so your pet is going to help them fill the void.
You also have your breaks and trips back home to look forward to. Every time I came home my dog, Sumo, was so happy to see me and I always felt so loved. I looked forward to seeing him and being comforted by his big brown eyes and the fact that he didn’t maul me when I got annoying. Every time I left home again to return to college I felt sad, but rejuvenated. I knew that I could get through the hard times because I am loved. Now mind you, my parents told me they loved me and bought me food which is my favorite form of love. But a pet’s love is different from a parent’s love. Technically parents are supposed to love you, they did the thing and now they have a representation of themselves. Pets don’t have to love you; often humans kinda suck so pets have freerange on who they decide to not hate. If you’re lucky then you’ll be deigned with your pets unconditional love.
I think the fact that pets choose to love you is one of the reasons they are so hard to lose. No matter how old you are it is hard to not have a fluffy puffball of pure terror that allows you to pet them or a goofy sidekick to follow you around. It is particularly hard in while out alone in college. With Sumo he had gotten really old and sick and I knew it was possibility. I didn’t expect to get a call from my parents, but when it happened the pain was easier to manage. I don’t think it actually hit me that he was gone until I got home. Until then, I had been thinking how grateful I was that he passed peacefully and after a day of love from my mom. I thought about how much discomfort he had been in and it was easier for me to ignore the sadness.
But when I got home it was something much worse. Your childhood home will look very different when you first get back. It’ll be hard to walk in and not see your pet waiting for you. Now you go into rooms without hearing the sound of their collar or their scratching at the floor. If you’re like me, as your cleaning your room you might catch a whiff of them on a shirt, or step on a well-hidden bone.
It is only made easier with time. Staying busy at home is a good way to help move on but you have to accept what has happened before you can do anything. In my family, my dog was the youngest sibling. He was smart, vindictive and a little diabolical, but he loved when he wanted to. But I am grateful for the time I had with him and the love he shared with my family and all I can do now is remember him. Like any time you lose a loved one you have to come to terms with it and it might take you a while to do so. I recommend gathering all of your pets toys and food and donating them to a local rescue center. The memory of your pet can live on through the enjoyment that other pets will have with your pets things.
If you have lost a pet while in college, or even outside of college, then you know the pain that I am talking about. After time, it will lessen and eventually it won’t hurt to think about your memories with your pet; instead, they will make you happy.
I will miss Sumo, but he never liked it when I cried, so I will go back to college and when I get sad I will remember him and how happy he made me. He will help me get through the hard times, in memory, as he did in life.
I hope this helped someone out there who is going through a loss. It was hard for me to get through it, and I still see things that make me think of Sumo and I cry. But I am growing from it. I hope you do the same.