Losing the greatest person in your life when you’re only 14 has a huge impact on the person you are trying to become. You have to handle a lot more feelings than one could ever imagine. You learn that time doesn’t necessarily heal all wounds, and everything will continue to hurt, but you get used to the pain. You learn to grow up faster. You have to watch your family go through something tragic, and still try to hold it all together for people that don’t understand.

Everytime I do something I have to think, am I making you proud? Everything that I do, I make sure to take pride in and know that you would be here encouraging me to chase my dreams, if you could. You can’t be here so all of us that knew you have to continue living for you. We have to do things that you can’t anymore. The memories are all we have left, these things we will never forget because of you.

At 14 years old, you’re at the age that you know what losing someone is, but you don’t think it will happen to you. When it does, it’s worse than you could ever imagine. Your whole world feels lost. You feel all alone, even though you have your family and the people around you. But it’s different. You know everyone is there for you, but you can’t even utter the words to attempt to make anything feel normal again. Your world comes crashing down one day without much warning and you’re stuck in this place you never thought you would have to see for a very long time.

Even at 20 years old, I don’t understand why these things had to happen. I still cry every time the day comes around, and each time I realize my memories are getting farther away from you. My life has become busy and of course I haven’t forget the memories we had, but they have become more distant than before. I have to look at the whole world differently, and realize you could lose someone you love at any second.

6 years have past. 6 years ago, I lost one of my best friends. My grandpa was always a person I looked up to. He had the most beautiful soul, and he was the funniest person you would ever meet. He had a way of meeting anyone and getting them to talk to him. You would lose him places and always find him talking with a stranger like they had been best friends forever. He was the kindest person I had ever met.

Cancer has played a huge role in my life. I have watched many people that I love suffer through this terrible disease, and then one day they’re gone. Without much warning, the people you love don’t get to be around anymore.

I still to this day do not understand why my grandpa had to leave us all so soon, but I know that I will always cherish the memories I have with him. I will love and miss my grandpa forever, I’m thankful for the experiences I had while I had the chance.