We treat relationships like an intense game of Texas Hold Em. We like to keep straight faces, bluff and wait until we are able to win the whole pot. This is where we are losing out the most. The problem in our society today is that our views about love and relationships are so skewed that it keeps us from opening up to each other and examining what it really is that we want. We like to keep our hearts in check at all times and avoid feelings. This is why we keep losing in the game of relationships...because it's not a game. It's not a winning game or a losing game and as long as we view love in this kind of light, we are all going to lose for a very long time.
The truth is, this is not how you form a healthy relationship. This isn't how you form a loving romance or a friendship, this is how you form a football team and our defense is always up.
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How does this start? It begins with first thinking that you, yourself are a prize to be won and that is a large part of your ego that must be let go of. For we are not prizes, we are people. We are people who at the end of the day just want to be loved like any other creature in this world. Our egos lead us to the paths of overthinking our actions and overanalyzing our partners as well. Since we are living in a society that is now so influenced and dependent on social media, this plays a large role in our relationships and the way we interact with one another (unfortunately). We start by texting each other and Facebook and Instagram. We get off on long text message conversations and as soon as someone doesn't reply within five minutes or so the game is on. "He didn't text me back for 10 minutes so I am going to wait twice as long to reply." Drop your ego, swallow your pride and just let it go. Sometimes people get pre-occupied or sometimes (god forbid) people don't enjoy all of their conversations through text (gasp).
My least favorite phrase that I hear way too often is "Don't make yourself too available. They like the chase." This is not cat and mouse. This is not about who can show less interest in each other. This is not about making someone purposely jealous and insecure. This is not about teasing someone or making them nervous with all of your mixed signals that leave someone feeling they have to decode you. Doesn't it only make the most sense, that if you are truly interested in someone you want to make that clear, or you want them to make it clear? Drop your ego. Our biggest flaw as humans are having all the tools to tell someone that we love them, but we are too arrogant to take a step forward. As if we are at a stop sign constantly waving each other on and no one goes first. Just. Go. Just say what you mean and mean what you say and most importantly feel what you say. Don't shy away because you are too afraid of your own fears in your own head. This is fiction.
Love is art. It is not a game. There are not rules or certain guidelines or strikes or outs or fouls. There is just creation. It is the intertwine of two people who have one thing in common and that is each other. You are not a prize to be won or lost, you are a picture to be painted.
