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10 Things Donaldo Tramp and Lord Voldemort Have In Common

He-Who-Must-Also-Not-Be-Named

Lukas Emory

Nov 14, 2016

Newark, Delaware

144

10 Things Donaldo Tramp and Lord Voldemort Have In Common

Alistair News / Warner Bros.

Let's be honest: Dingle Tringle is America's Dark Lord. Allow me to extrapolate.

Disclaimer: I will not be using Dolan Triscut's real name in the spirit of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (Also because he is a slim ball who doesn't deserve any mention).

1. Supporters Are Predominantly White Elitists

Death Eaters? Republican rally? Who knows!?

2. Awkward Huggers

*cringes into eternity*3. Unnatural Skin Tone

"Girl, look how orange you f'cking look, girl!"

4. Two-Faced

All four faces are equally threatening.

5. Use Their Powers For Evil

Young Tom Riddle? Young Dingo Turnip? What's the difference!?

6. Call People Names

Surprisingly, Voldemort's insults are far more SFW than Trumpet's.

7. Use Fake Names

I... Am... Lord... Drumpf....

8. Speak In 140 Characters Or Less

Most Likely To Respond To A Paragraph With "K."

9. Threaten Their Opponents

Replace "Harry Potter" with "Hillary Clinton" and this literally sounds like Dondé Trombone at a debate.

10. Will Die One Day

So THAT's what they meant by "liberty and justice for all."

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

Let's face it, last semester you woke up with enough time to brush your teeth and get to class and even then you were about 10 minutes late and rollin' in with some pretty unfortunate bed head. This semester we will set our alarms, wake up with time to get ready, and get to class on time!

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10 Things Donaldo Tramp and Lord Voldemort Have In Common

He-Who-Must-Also-Not-Be-Named

1. Supporters Are Predominantly White Elitists

2. Awkward Huggers

3. Unnatural Skin Tone

4. Two-Faced

5. Use Their Powers For Evil

6. Call People Names

7. Use Fake Names

8. Speak In 140 Characters Or Less

9. Threaten Their Opponents

10. Will Die One Day

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It's not all morning coffees and singing along to the radio.

You can't just go to your room to take a nap in the middle of your classes.

Having to spend all your extra cash on gas for your car.

Speaking of money, you probably don't have a meal plan so you're forced to scrounge up some change or mooch off of your friends.

It can be harder to maintain the friendships you make with people from class.

Finding a parking spot.

It can be harder to be involved on campus because between your one, two, or three jobs and school you don't have much free time.

When you try to be super involved on campus, it can kill your sleep schedule.

It's impossible to do homework at home, but staying on campus isn't an option sometimes.

There are surveys and events that you can't participate in because you're a commuter.

Group projects are the bane of your existence.

Traffic.

Your backpack rivals that of a survivalist trekking in the woods.

Driving all the way to campus to find a note on the door of your classroom saying class was cancelled.

Because have you ever had to endure grilling your foot on a George Foreman?

1. When he just wanted bacon from his George Foreman grill

2. When he had money (and Jan) issues

3. When he got upstaged at Phyllis' wedding

4. When he unintentionally saved Meredith from rabies

5. When he wore a "bisexual" suit

6. When he had to apologize to Jesus

7. When his GPS drove him into a lake

8. When he had to deal with Ryan as his boss

9. When he couldn't fulfill his most generous empty promise

10. When this happened

11. When he struggled with a X-Mas break up

12. When he had to defend his generosity

13. When he threw a classy Christmas party for Holly but she had a boyfriend

14. When he had to stand up to peer pressure

15. When Toby was "Toby-ish"

This isn't just for the single Pringles out there either, folks

Run Around Clanging Pots and Pans in Everyone's Face

Eat the Last Few Pigs in a Blanket

Pop Twelve White Grapes

Burn Something

Smash Things Against a Wall

Spontaneously Begin an Irish Jig

Call Your Mother

Throw a Coffee Table Out a Window

Sing "Auld Lang Syne" at the Top of Your Lungs

Do Some Squats

Swan Dive into a Nearly Freezing Body of Water

Take a Shot

Time to be merry and bright.

"First Noel" by Leslie Odom, Jr

"A Holly Jolly Christmas" by Burl Ives

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" by Kelly Clarkson

"All I Want for Christmas Is You" by Mariah Carey

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" by Michael Buble

"Last Christmas" by Taylor Swift

"The Christmas Song" by Josh Groban

"White Christmas" by Idina Menzel

"O Holy Night" by David Archuleta

"Believe" by Josh Groban

"Les cloches du hameau" by Celine Dion

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

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