Apparently, the happiest place on earth is also one of the strictest places on earth.
The other day, I had a friend tell me that one of her friends was thrown out of Epcot at Walt Disney World for trying to use her fake ID to buy a drink. She was thrown in Disney jail. This got me thinking, what would it take to be thrown in Disney jail? What could I get kicked out for?
I'm not endorsing the violation of Disney rules, just endorsing the wonder of "what if?"
1. Well, the obvious one would be don't use your fake ID to buy alcohol in Disney parks. Clearly, they're good at picking out the real from the fake.
2. To follow up on underage drinking, don't purchase alcohol for anyone who can't legally drink. Apparently, they don't care what country you're from, you're in Merica now ladies and gents.
3. Jumping out of a ride is off limits, even if you'd like to take a swim with some of the pirates on Pirates of the Caribbean (Caribbean or Caribbean? I never know). According to a site called "How To Disney," there are sensors all over the floor so the ride's staff is alerted immediately of any movement that shouldn't be happening.
4. Hitting a character will force Disney to give you the boot. Steer clear of any sloppy drunk dads who had an issue with Goofy growing up. It's cute if a kid kicks Pluto a little but no one wants to see an adult get into a fist fight with Minnie Mouse.
5. On a hot day in Orlando, there's nothing I'd love more than to jump into the lake in Epcot that does the Illuminations firework show, but that can actually get you banned for life! I guess I'll have to wait until I'm sick of Disney and really have no interest in going back.
6. No selfie sticks! As of 2015, selfie sticks have been banned from Disney parks. Having the actual stick won't get you banned, a cast member will simply take it from you and you can retrieve it at the end of your visit, but if a determined soccer mom refuses to comply, she's gonna have to leave.
7. Don't show up in a sports bra, even if it's unbearably hot outside. You can be sent home for public indecency. Sounds like Catholic private school all over again.
8. Unless it's for a special event, guests over the age of fourteen can't dress up as a Disney character. In my opinion, that's rude and AGEIST. From now on, I will stare down all the little girls dressed as princesses. Half full of jealousy and half full of anger.
9. Don't feed the animals! This especially includes the Disney ducks. Feel free to kick me out Disney cast members, because you know damn well I will refuse to not feed those handsome ducks at the pond by Cinderella's castle.
10. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts. Apparently, you can be removed from the park for cutting lines.
So, whoa, you can be kicked out for many things, including unauthorized protests or performances! So next time you're at Disney, just remember no selfie sticks, no booty shorts, no swimming in their lakes or ponds, and no stepping off the ride, because cast members will find you.
