As I’m finally beginning to settle into Sophomore year, it has just hit me that I’m really not the new kid anymore. It's no longer okay to use the, “I'm having trouble adjusting,” excuse for missing class and spending all day in bed avoiding the real world. Looking back on Freshman year as a whole, there is so much about myself and about my outlook on life that has drastically changed.
I’ll admit it, my first couple of weeks of Freshman year were pretty tough. As excited as I was for making new friends and experiencing a new place, I was scared out of my mind. Scared to be vulnerable in a place I didn’t know with no familiar faces. I had always been a homebody and I wasn’t ready for mom to drive me three hours away to New York, drop me off, and leave. But that’s what I've come to realize looking back; I never was going to be ready and that’s okay. There are so many times in our lives when we might feel ready. We can think we feel ready for an exam we studied hours for or for a big performance we have spent weeks rehearsing for, but in reality, we never know exactly what to expect. Maybe the exam has a completely different focus than we anticipated, maybe the stereo system breaks mid-performance, but that’s the beauty of life and college in itself. Learning to adjust and welcoming the spontaneity of our world. It takes time to accept that we cannot control everything we wish we could. Freshman year began to teach me that.
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At the beginning of last year, just like everyone else, I wanted to make a great group of friends. I started out by trying to just get people to like me. I tried to be relatable and tell people things I thought they might want to hear. Looking back I wish I could tell my freshman self to be genuine, self-assured and real. Obviously, easier said than done. Those are three things that I have embraced as a positive change after experiencing my freshman year in its entirety.
While finding my niche wasn’t easy to do, learning to be adaptable once I had found that was overall the most difficult part of my Freshman year. After finally finding a really solid group of friends I thought I was starting to get the hang of this whole "college thing." As the year progressed, I began having more and more trouble adapting. In high school I was so used to being friends with everyone. Coming to a school with a student body of 2,500 people is very different than my small high school of 380 students. There were so many unfamiliar faces and that intimidated me. Looking back I wish I had taken that as an opportunity to meet more people rather than sticking to only my core group of eight friends.
Likewise in high school my life revolved around athletics. Coming to a highly athletic DIII college as a non-athlete was a really challenging adjustment. I always felt like I was missing out on being part of a team. I thought that because I didn’t play a sport here people saw me as not athletic or lacking skill. I know see there are so many things wrong with that perspective. I shouldn’t have cared so much what others thought, I should have been more comfortable in my own skin and less concerned with others. I also should have embraced the free time that I had like the luxury of unplanned nap time. As a Sophomore there is absolutely nothing I love more than driving an hour away for a semi-final basketball game or sitting in the bitter cold through a four hour softball double header. I live to see my friends succeed and being there to cheer them on is something I should have appreciated from the start.
While the social aspect of college is most definitely important to transitioning into life after college, it’s also important to find balance with academics. My freshman year I started off by expending all of my energy on social life. I always wanted to be at all of the sports games, events and parties. As freshman fall term progressed however, and I started to see my quiz grades slip I realized I needed to not only prioritize but also balance. Going into winter term at my trimester school I did a complete 180 where going out late no longer had the same appeal. I found myself spending far too much time either alone, studying or both. As a sophomore, I better understand the concept of balance. I think there are times where it's okay to put yourself first rather than letting stress take over. I've found that I tend to be more productive if I allow myself to have appropriately timed breaks. Fun and success in school can, in fact, coexist.
Lastly, the most important thing I think I have ever been taught came into play during my freshman year. Growing up my mom always said to live for today, to embrace the time you’re in. If you can always be genuine and honest to yourself and the people around you, then it makes it easy to be happy and succeed. Last year I spent a lot of time worrying about the future, about things I couldn’t control. By taking a breath and appreciating the moment, you allow yourself to tackle big tasks one step at a time. I firmly believe that it is the little things that are important like listening to others, giving genuine thoughtful responses in small conversations and being friendly. Without having seen that during my freshman year I don’t think I would have been able to develop the numerous deep connections that I have been able to make.
I’d like to say a special thank you to Union College for fostering this wonderfully unpredictable journey for me. All in all freshman year was a roller coaster of mistakes and lessons, but I can honestly say that I cannot wait for another three years of growing into the person that I want to be.
