Growing up is already difficult for any kid. You are constantly learning about the world around you while trying to make friends and find your own strengths and weaknesses. But how many of you reading this had to face the challenges of childhood with an extra barrier in the way?

In 3rd grade I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, a condition which is often referred to as High-Functioning Autism. There isn't much I remember about the whole diagnosis process except that I was taken into a room with a professional, who placed various books and pictures in front of me while asking questions. After this session, I was led into a room with some toys and played around until my parents brought me out again, right after I presume they learned about my diagnosis. Unfortunately, I wasn't told anything until a little later, after my latest temper-tantrum resulted in a neighbor kid getting injured. It was at that time I was told that I had AS but that I "didn't have very much of it,"which for some reason I interpreted to meaning that none of what I had just done was really my fault, that it was simply my mental behavior.

Asperger's syndrome is a disorder that primarily affects your mind and how you view the world. According to the website Autism Speaks: "Affected children and adults have difficulty with social interactions and exhibit a restricted range of interests and/or repetitive behaviors. Motor development may be delayed, leading to clumsiness or uncoordinated motor movements. Compared with those affected by other forms of ASD, however, those with Asperger's syndrome do not have significant delays or difficulties in language or cognitive development. Some even demonstrate precocious vocabulary – often in a highly specialized field of interest." the website goes on to list a few behaviors that may be common in someone with Asperger's, though it varies by person:

"-Limited or inappropriate social interactions

-"Robotic" or repetitive speech

-Challenges with nonverbal communication (gestures, facial expression, etc.) coupled with average to above average verbal skills

-Tendency to discuss self rather than others

-Inability to understand social/emotional issues or nonliteral phrases

-Lack of eye contact or reciprocal conversation

-Obsession with specific, often unusual, topics

-One sided conversations

-Awkward movements and/or mannerisms"

As presented in this comic/article http://themighty.com/2016/05/rebecca-burgess-comic... the autism spectrum has for years been viewed as linear, with one side being 'less autistic' and another side being "more autistic." The problem with this theory is that it promoted a one-size-fits-all approach to autism, and you had to fit somewhere along the line. A new way to look at the spectrum is a multi-colored wheel where each side represents a different characteristic of someone with an autism diagnosis. You can be placed anywhere on the wheel, and your strengths and weaknesses are much easier to recognize.

While there are many traits listed above of an "Aspie", these are a handful that have affected me the most:

Need a routine. I value consistency and uniformity, having the same schedule over and over again and knowing what to expect makes me feel comfortable. Even in college when I'm the one often making the schedule, it is easy to experience minor panic whenever I feel the need to adjust something by the day. While a much bigger problem early on, this became easier to handle through high school, as participation in nordic ski racing (a sport that is VERY weather dependent and prone to last-minute changes) helped me react more calmly to breaks from routine. Slight alterations of routine would sometimes lead to one of my temper-tantrums, which could include plenty of sobbing.

Change. Change of literally any kind, but especially a major change in life, even after wrapping my head around it, would lead to outbursts. This can relate back to routine.

An obsession with unusual and particular things. There are some very specific topics that I can ramble on about for hours: ski racing and waxing, running, coaching theory, sports stadiums, baseball history, and atheism. While I attempt to adapt these topics to appeal to a wider audience, the truth is that the vast majority of people I interact with have little to no interest in them. It has been a challenge to recognize when to cut off and start showing interest in what others like, and this is a behavior I continue to exhibit today.

Small talk. I'm pretty sure most everyone thinks this is difficult, but for an Aspie, small talk can be frightening. Just getting a conversation rolling, let alone keeping one, is enough of a problem. Even something as simple as carpooling with a friend: "what can we talk about?" "what if I don't say anything?" "I hope they don't think I'm boring" the struggle to find a steady string of dialogue in these situations can become overwhelming for me. My biggest improvements in small talk came during the last two years, as being surrounded by so many new faces in a college setting literally forced me to interact to develop some kind of social life (can relate to obsessions with specific things). This is still a work in progress.

Awkward silence. I am terrified of awkward silence, even if others don't find the silence awkward. I find myself frantically searching for topics to fill in the space of nothingness, whether I need to or not. Nothing much more to say here.

Eye-contact. This is the big one. For me (and many Aspies) eye contact was a problem long before smartphones stole away our eyes. It is simply more comfortable for me to either look down or to either side than directly into another person's eyes. Yes, even as an adult, eye contact makes me feel very awkward, and I would much rather look in a different direction even while talking to you (don't take this the wrong way, it's just who I am). However most professional settings look for eye contact in a job candidate, so I need to at least pretend that it doesn't feel strange to look someone else in the eyes.

Overall, living with Asperger's syndrome really just means you view the world in a different way. There are some basic human behaviors that can be extra challenging, but most Aspies find ways to become independent and develop their social skills to function in modern society. For me? Well, there will always be social barriers to conquer, but the journey towards leading a normal life is looking like a safe bet as I continue with my most independent chapter thus far.