Until my sophomore year of college, I had never even heard of the word introvert, and I sure didn't know what it meant. The way my professor described it made it sound like it was just someone that is shy, doesn't talk a lot and doesn't want to be around people. You were either like that, or an extrovert, the polar opposite. The topic of an ambivert was completely skipped. She made it sound so black and white, but there's actually a lot of gray area when it comes to introverts.
There are four types of introverts: social, thinking, anxious and restrained. And within those four types are eight different personalities. Most introverts, myself included, belong to more than one type and personality.
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Here are a few things you probably don't know about us:
We're not antisocial, but we do love canceled plans. It's one of the most relieving feelings when plans that you didn't really want to agree to, or that you change your mind about the day of, get canceled. We struggle between wanting to go out and have fun with our friends, and wanting to stay home alone with a book or Netflix.
We do actually want to talk, but small talk gives us anxiety. Before we go somewhere, even as simple as to get our hair done, we'll literally practice conversations in our head that more than likely won't ever happen. But if you want to talk about your favorite book, why you believe in God, why you don't speak to your father or how you want to work with little kids, we'll talk until 3A.M. One-on-one deep conversations are important to us.
We're perfectly content in our shell, our bubble, our comfort zone. Yes, we can do things that we aren't technically comfortable doing, but that doesn't mean that we always want or need to. Don't tell us to break out of our shell. It's such an obnoxious expression that implies we need to change the way we are. Just because we function differently than you do doesn't mean we need to ditch our shell. We like it.
Before you call us, think, is this textable? If you want to talk to us on the phone, we need a three day notice, and even then we might not answer. If a number we don't know or a private number calls, it's about as equivalent to picking up a hitchhiker. One of the most stressful things you can say to us is, "Just call them and ask." We have to work up the courage just to call the pizza guy. We'll repeat the order over and over in our head to make sure we know it, but then we'll end up not calling and making a sandwich instead.
Our words sound so much better on paper than in our mouths. We have a way of hardly ever knowing exactly what to say or what we want to say. When we write, we discover our words. It's no wonder so many introverts are famous writers: JK Rowling, Hemingway, Faulkner. This is also why we love books so much. We find more and more of ourselves in each book we read, leaving behind pieces of us, like horcruxes.
We also have extroverted tendencies. We can be loud, funny and witty, because we aren't always being quiet and observing. Around the right people, we can be pretty outgoing, but after a while, it becomes exhausting. We enjoy being with our friends or at a party for a little while, but then we start trying to figure out how to go home without coming off rude. Being around so many people is draining because many of them love to take, but don't know who to give. Afterwards, we need our own space. We need to recharge. I think that's why we love naps so much.
We're just like Shrek; we have layers. We're content with not having an infinite amount of friends. Having three people that really don't want you to die is better in my opinion. Once we slowly begin to feel comfortable with you and trust you, we'll reveal more and more of ourselves. We want to be surrounded by those that won't drain us. And we want to be with someone that betters us, but that can be whole all by themselves.
We overthink and over-analyze. During an argument, if we ever say, "First of all," run. Chances are we've done research, gathered data, made a PowerPoint and cited our sources. We also obsessively over-analyze something we said years ago or five minutes ago. We'll lie awake thinking how dumb or awkward we were. We often lose ourselves in our own thoughts, oblivious to the things around us. And we literally constantly think about the way we think.
You might not know about us but we're everywhere. We are your teachers, your authors, your doctors, your artists, your speech pathologists and your librarians. We're intellectual, realistic, analytical, personable, strong, sympathetic and opinionated. We're an open book, but you won't know if you don't ask.
