A LOOK INSIDE THE WORLD OF jOAN SOPRANO | The Odyssey Online
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A LOOK INSIDE THE WORLD OF jOAN SOPRANO

PART 1

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A LOOK INSIDE THE WORLD OF jOAN SOPRANO

Joan and Jacqueline begin making their way to the dining hall, when Jacqueline suddenly stops.

Jac: hey Joan why don’t you go on ahead without me, I’m not that hungry right now anyways and besides I left something in my room that I should probably go get now before someone else does.

Joan: what? No! What are you talking about? Let’s go you heard the warden! Time to eat now c’mon you don’t want to get a shot do you?

Jacqueline insists:

Jac: I’ll be fine and don’t worry I’ll come down within the last fifteen minutes so I’m accounted for and we don’t get in trouble! Promise.

Joan looks at Jaqueline wearily

Joan: ok, I guess I’ll see you in there then.

Ok that was weird (Joan says out loud to herself)

Joan finds her other roommate Guadalupe waiting for her at their usual table with some mutual friends.

Guadalupe: hey chica, what’s poppin mammi you looking good with your fine self! What you doing?

Joan: oh stop it Lu! You know I just do Yoga. But thank you. How was your day?

Guadalupe: same shit different day you know, where’s your girl Jacqueline?

Joan: oh she’s coming said she left something in the room or had something to do? I don’t know I told her to come so if she misses dinner it’s not going to be on me.

Guadalupe: that’s fucking weird what the fuck is she doing?

Joan: who knows? This place makes the most normal t people do the weirdest things. But she’s my friend, I know her! So I wouldn’t think anything of it.

Guadalupe between bites, rolls her eyes

Guadalupe: whatever! I don’t take a chance on nobody, I trust no one!

Joan: well I’m telling you trust me, Jacqueline is one of the good ones.

The ladies finish up and wait for headcounts to be completed so they can back to their cells, Jacqueline shows up at the very last minute making the ladies very anxious and nervous , for if headcounts don’t match rosters the prison goes on lockdown and everybody gets shots, 2 for the prisoner’s cellmates of the missing.

Guard counts approaching the girls

Guard: 27. 28, 29, and …30 Block D you are free to go!

As the ladies get up to leave Joan lays into Jacqueline

Jac: Hey Guys what’s up?

Joan: where the hell were you!!?? What took you so long? Had it taken you any longer this whole place would be on friggin lockdown and we’d be getting a friggin shot

Jacqueline laughs

Jac: calm down! I told you I had something to do in my room and besides I made it back in time like I said I would! So like I already told you, you have nothing to worry about you silly goose!

Jacqueline squeezes Joan’s cheeks

Guadalupe: a yi yi, you’re crazy Jacqueline you know that? Loca!

Joan: let’s just get back to our room, Madonna Mia!

Jac: what are we playing tonight ladies? Go fish? Blackjack? Charades? Uno? I love games!

The ladies return to the room and start a game of cards

Guadalupe: I got one card left you bitches better not fuck me over!

Jacqueline mischievously picks up her next card from the deck. Joan places down her next cards.

Joan: I’m changing the color its blue! And a reverse! My turn again! Uno!

Joan: Uno Ou….

Suddenly a guard is at the cell gate

Guard: inmate 27460894 report to the warden’s office immediately

‘Joan: what I don’t understand? Its nine o clock at night were minutes away from lights out what could I have possibly done? I’ve been here the whole night, I came straight here from dinner! I

Guard: I said report to the Warden’s office immediately inmate or else a shot will be given.

Joan quickly gets up and starts the trip to the office still extremely confused. Joan arrives and steps into the office.

Joan: what could you possibly want from me at this time of night sir? I’m in my cell playing cards with my cellmates trying not to blow my brains out.

Warden: you think I’m a jerkoff jean?

Joan: what??/ No! When did I say that? I would never!

Warden: oh sure, I heard it Joan! I know you said it. Said I was unbelievable and disgusting! And to think I was going to set you up for a nicer cell and make you a high priority candidate for early release. You want to know whose unbelievable Joan? You!

Joan: how did you? But I never….

And then it clicked. Joan put the pieces together.\

Joan: you know what you’re right. I’m sorry sir I said that out of anger and it was wrong of me, I promise you’ll never hear that from me ever again.

Warden: I hope not Joan, I don’t like being called or labelled things that I am not. Especially when I’m being called these things behind my back. Got it?

Joan: Capisci

Joan makes her way back to her room thinking about how the warden could’ve known that she called him a jerkoff. Joan returns to her room and roommates.

Guadalupe: what the hell was that about?

Joan: the warden somehow found out that I called him a jerkoff. I don’t know how on earth he could’ve known. The only person I said that too was Jacqueline!

Jacqueline looks up from her book and freezes

Joan: but I know Jac wouldn’t sell me out, right Jac?

Jacqueline doesn’t answer

Joan: Jac?

Jacqueline still doesn’t respond

Joan: JAC! HELLO EARTH TO JACQUELINE ANYBODY HOME?

Jacqueline snaps up startled

Jac: what? Oh sorry I was reading my book. What’s up?

Guadalupe: uhmm reading? I’m pretty sure you were just staring off into space chica.not reading

Jac: what do you mean? I was…what’s your question Jo?

Joan: I said you would never sell me out isn’t that right Jacqueline?

Jac: oh yeah! Of course! Me? Never. You know I got your back girl.

Guadalupe: that took you awfully long to respond to senora. Que es tu problema mami?

Jac: I don’t speak Spanish or whatever it is you just said Guadalupe! God!

Joan: alright ladies lets cool it off, it’s been a long day for all of us. Let’s just go to bed ok?

Guard: LIGHTS OUT LADIES!

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