The USG election system is broken, and this year, your vote is absolutely worthless in a seemingly unopposed race for the presidency (or kingship if you will). There should be an ideological fight right now between the establishment and the 99 percent.

We know that USG hates being transparent, speaking on behalf of all students on decisions that conflict with the University’s interests and has had plenty of trouble welcoming minorities in their organization. But the good news is that there is one man who knows the answers to fixing this broken system. A true outsider: Ben Roberts has never even voted in a USG election, and as a Christian, white, member of Ohio State Greek Life (in an upper-middle-tier fraternity), he knows firsthand how to make organizations more welcoming and diverse.

Ben Roberts showed me knowledge he learned from a book. We spend much of our free time discussing literature and what is best for Ohio State students.

He is the savior that Ohio State needs in unquestionably the most powerful seat at the University.

Ben Roberts believes that everyone, no matter how quiet, deserves a voice and deserves justice. That’s why I support him and am entering the race as his Vice President. But if you are wondering why you should support him, here are seven reasons.

1. Cut USG spending by 100 percent.

Through a well thought out policy, he plans to cut the entire budget of USG because the organization is kind of stupid when you think about it.

Here is the proposal to cut USG spending to nothing, saving students and Ohio taxpayers.

2. WiFi on the Oval.

This University just got 252 million dollars from Nike, plus all of the cash they have sucked from students after the CampusParc deal. Roberts and I are going to put WiFi hotspots all over The Oval and make the Australians pay for it.

But seriously, some Australian investors bought Ohio State’s parking rights, and that’s why you get screwed on price whenever you park. It’s messed up.

3. A shorter president.

Even though Ben is a very respectable 5’11 (or exactly six foot to all you ladies), he is much shorter than the lamestream media’s candidate, who is well over six foot. However, Ben thinks he could beat him up. In fact, that’s how we should decide this race. Unless he is scared.

4. A running mate with unmatched experience.

Last summer, I produced a couple news stories that were seen in Russia (how that happened is a long story that is not worth getting into). With that foreign policy experience, I am the only person on any platform who can say I have what it takes to stand up to Vladimir Putin. I’d like to see the lamestream, establishment campaign make a similar claim.

5. A vote for a true winner.

As a sophomore in high school, I led a mostly freshman cross-country race for about 300 yards. I’d like to see the other side’s experience in getting ahead like me. Ben Roberts also won lots of things when he was in high school (he’s not in high school now, you dingus), but you don’t have to take my word for it. Check out his high school football tackling stats here.

6. Continue to retain box seats at Ohio State football games.

The USG President and Vice President, as of now, get box seats to all home Ohio State football games. Often these seats are donated by the President and Vice President so they can sit with their peers. We view this as an archaic and barbaric tradition. It is very important that the students voice is heard everywhere, including the temperature controlled, fully catered box seats with concierge service available. When you think of the money that has been spent on this important tradition, it would be a true shame to stop it now.

7. The only one with a true focus on safety.

How many kids face the dangers of drinking underage every weekend at Ohio State? Ben has cried himself to sleep many weekend nights thinking about the futures at risk because of the amount of students who participate in this activity. When people drink underage, anywhere on or off campus, the law is broken. Ben Roberts is the law, and he will not be broken.

So while you may think it’s a waste of a vote to oppose the appointed prince, your vote is worthless anyway since the election is fixed.