Nursing has been regarded as a noble career. You are the first to start working and you are the last to leave. People choose this career for a variety of reasons. They could have a friend or family member in the field that inspired them or they are a very caring person and they want to help people. Unlike most people, I didn't know nursing was my end career until a this last January. Simply put, choosing nursing as a career was not immediate decision for me. Due to my own insecurities and the pressure of society that caused me to consider the wrong career field, choosing Nursing as my career took a long and winding road to get here. For me, this journey began in my senior year of high school. I was in my English class and we were talking about what we wanted to major in.

Three years prior to that English class, I had chosen dental hygiene as my major. But when we were told to partner up tell our partner why we chose that career, my mind had limited reasons why. I remember my reasons were that dental hygienists make their own hours, I wouldn't have to worry about working on holidays since most dentists offices are closed on major holidays, and dental hygiene is just a two year degree. Those were the only reasons why I wanted to major in dental hygiene at the time. When my partner told me about the major she chose, and how excited she was to work in that field, I started to doubt my choice. Simply put, I realized I wasn't excited nor passionate to work in the dental industry.

According to society, you have to have a career chosen at all times or you're another delinquent, unambitious millennial. I had no idea of what career I truly wanted and no idea of how to look, so I pushed those doubts aside. When I started college I started taking my prerequisites, after a while I got frustrated because I wanted to take classes or simply get experience in something that had to do with my major. I started looking at ways of how I could get experience and came across applying for a volunteer at a hospital. At this time, I still wanted to major in dental hygiene. I realized that a shadowing at a dental office would be better, but I tried to look at this as a positive thing. At least, this would expose me to what working in a medical field is like.

I knew this was a total hail mary because so many med students apply for this, but I knew I should at least apply. The questions they had were typical. Stuff like how old are you, tell me about yourself, why are you applying for this volunteer position, etc. My "about me" paragraph was nothing special. I just said that I love reading and caring for people. I even said my major was dental hygiene and that I was just looking to expand on my options of what I should major. About a month later, I got an email saying that I got the position. I reread it over and over and once I realized it was true, I was ecstatic. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I got the volunteer position.

My time volunteering at the hospital was short, but it was long enough for me to realize the health care field was my calling. I spent days and weeks researching jobs in the health care that I felt was a good fit. Due to my own insecurities, I didn't think nursing was a good fit. Nurses are the ones who actually do everything but the doctors get all the credit. I am terrible at math and because of my anxiety, I doubt myself at times. I was trying to look for a career in the medical field that I could do, that also pays a good amount of money. At one time, I wanted to be an EMT. EMTs don't have to worry about dosage amounts and I can do the math they do. EMTs also don't have to worry about getting too attached to their patients.

My sister is a care flight paramedic and I talked to her about this. She told me how she was in my exact position at the exact age too. My sister was 15 when she graduated high school. She talked about how she went into biochemistry and has a degree in it, but she doesn't use it. She graduated at 19 just to realize she didn't want to do biochemistry. She went on to say that she took a chance and decided to go to EMT school. She told me about how her professors said she was insane for making that huge of a career jump, but she did it anyways. That parallels with my experience as well but also like my sister, I knew health care was my calling so I listened to my intuition. But my sister told me that EMTs do things that I cant do like drive an ambulance at 70+ mph. and pointed that I'm not the best driver.

I can't tell you how many people said I was insane for deciding to volunteer at a hospital when I still wanted to be a dental hygienist. My sister is the only person I can talk to about this, so I told her how I was considering a career in the health care but that I was doubting myself. She simply said that it was about damn time. At first, I was confused about what made her think I was cut out for the health care field. Even when I pointed out how terrible at math I am, she just said nothing in this world that is worth having will come easy. She pointed out how I am calm in tense situations. She also said that even though I have a dark sense of humor and can be a little macabre, I care for people more than I will ever let them know. She also pointed out how excited I was when I got the volunteer position. She knew that nursing was my calling before I did. Additionally, she made me realize that I will just have to rise above my insecurities and my weaknesses to do a career that has always been my calling.

Weirdly enough even though I have anxiety, volunteering at a hospital made me realize that saving people is how I can save myself. I know there will be times when I want to quit, when I will have intelligence doubted, or days when I question why I do this. But I will rise above that because great nurses aren't determined by one patient or one shift, it's an ongoing journey and a chance to make a difference of your patients. Despite all my insecurities about how I'm not cut out for this, I will simply rise above them. I know I was never good at math but I will study more and get a tutor. I will do yoga to keep my anxiety low. I will also vent my anxieties instead of holding them in.