Relationships, in general, can be difficult for so many reasons, so when you add distance into the mix you're guaranteed to face more challenges. That being said, distance - expected or not - is not something to be afraid of. It's interesting to see that 32.5% of college relationships are long distance, and 75% of long distance couples become engaged, according to this study. I met my boyfriend my freshman year of college and we spent a year and a half together in the same town and have spent the last year almost 500 miles apart. We are challenged every day by the distance but we've found ways that make it a little easier to be apart from each other. A lot of times distance can strengthen a relationship because the couple learns to communicate better and appreciate their time together much more. Obviously, we'd all rather live in the same town as bae, but for those of us who don't get to choose, there are a few things we can do to make the most of the distance.
Set guidelines.
First and foremost, you'll need to communicate with each other very specifically about what's acceptable and what isn't when it comes to how each of you spend your time apart. I'm not talking about your personal hobbies or daily life, I'm talking about when you're both going out with your friends, and meeting new people. If you're in a committed relationship you have probably already established boundaries in terms of what interaction you're each okay with as far as flirtatious interactions. For my relationship, we understand that we're both friendly people and conversation with people at the bar or wherever we are is bound to happen, but we agree that it shouldn't go further than a conversation. There's no swapping numbers, social media handles, or flirty touching - and that's a personal decision for each of us with respect to each other. Even if you already have your own personal boundaries with strangers/friends in regard to your significant other, your honey may not have the same views so it's always good to talk about it and come to a solid agreement on what you're both comfortable with.
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Schedule "dates."
The hardest part about being in a long distance relationship is losing out on actual face time with your SO. Your schedules are probably completely opposite or you're both crazy busy with your own commitments and it's easy for weeks to pass by without a full conversation with each other. It's so important to make time for each other, even if it means sacrificing an hour of sleep one night a week to finally Facetime or talk on the phone to each other. Once you've both figured out your schedules, determine a good time to call each other once a week, or however often works for you. No matter what your schedules look like, if you really care for each other and the relationship you'll find a time to make it work.
Make plans to see each other.
I honestly wouldn't survive the distance if I didn't have something to look forward to. Even if you can only see each other once a year, setting a specific date for that time gives you both something to look forward to and makes it just a little bit easier to be apart.
Reassure each other of your emotions.
If your person is miles apart and on a completely different schedule than you, it's easy to get insecure in the relationship and its strength. Figuring out each others http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/ can be a complete game changer and will guarantee that you're satisfying each other's security needs. Along with the distance comes the ease of falling into your own routine and life events, remember that your boyfriend or girlfriend needs to know you're thinking of them even though you're miles apart.
Have understanding.
This might be the most important thing when it comes to relationships in general - be understanding of each others' schedules/lives. You're both going to get caught up in the trials of everyday life, so keep the communication open and keep in mind that you both have obligations.
Maintain your separate lives.
Along with understanding that your partner has his/her own things to take care of, focus on doing your own thing as well. If you don't have your own plans, friends, and goals for yourself you'll spend all of your time and energy focusing on your partner and could even become jealous of them and cause problems. Once you've created a life for yourself you'll find happiness in being alone when you're away from each other, which you wouldn't survive the distance without.
Pray for each other.
Last, but certainly not least, pray for each other. If you're a spiritual person it is so important that you allow God to have control of your relationship and intentionally pray for it and each other throughout. Pray that He is preparing both of you for each other and for your future, and trust in His perfect timing. Distance isn't easy, but when you let go and let God do His thing you can rest easy that you will be taken care of.
