In my life I have always been fed negative ideas about long-distance relationships. In my experience people mostly believe that long distance relationships aren’t worth the effort and always end in shambles. I have been told this over and over again, just in casual conversations. That image of a horrible long-distance relationship was imprinted on me, and I believed that nobody in a long-distance relationship would be happy and that their relationships would fail.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

Once I got to college, a few of my friends were involved in long distance relationships. Seeing how those relationships functioned made me second guess my opinion. Even now I have many friends in relationships where they only get to see each other every few months or maybe every six months. I personally never thought I would be in the place that I would be in a long distance relationship. I’ve been subconsciously trying to avoid it all together. I assumed that if I get the chance to be in this type of relationship I would kick the idea down and walk away. I’m already stressed with school and being away from home, I didn’t need any more drama in my life.

Then I went back home to Renton, Washington for Christmas break. I had been very casually talking to a friend of my sister’s since Thanksgiving. The two of us hung out and I didn’t expect anything to happen. Over the course of the break my feelings for him skyrocketed, and I couldn’t stop it. This was the last thing I thought I needed.

Fall term was very difficult for me and having to balance a relationship with a boy 450 miles away seemed like too much. I was in a rough spot. I hadn’t had strong feelings for anybody in a long time, but risking the relationship going long distance and blowing up was a real fear for me. I sat in my room for a long time contemplating whether or not to go forward with this. After some discussion, I agreed to be in a long-distance relationship with my current boyfriend.

We spent 24/7 together until I had to come back to school, which made the transition back to my old routine very hard. Every day I’ve woken up being worried about the status of our relationship and if I am doing enough to support him, but by the end of the day I come realize that there’s actually some real positive aspects of being in this type of relationship.

A few days ago a friend of mine, who happens to also be an old English teacher of mine, made a very interesting comment that has stuck with me. She said that long distance relationships allow people to really connect on a different sort of level than normal relationships. While we can’t see each other all the time, we learn to understand that person on an emotional and mental level instead of a physical one.

In many new relationships the focus is on the physical aspects. You’re in a new relationship and you’re excited to explore that with the other person. But being far away from somebody at the beginning of your relationship I’ve found puts a whole new perspective on things. These past few days I’ve stepped back and just began to think about that. I’ve been talking to my partner a lot more than I probably would be if he was five miles away instead of 450. I’ve been getting to know him on a very personal level instead of an intimate one. Don’t get me wrong, being intimate with a new partner is great, but being able to just Skype somebody and talk about your day, and get to know really what's going on in their head is a gift I’ve been taking for granted.

Although it’s only been two weeks since I’ve left home, the dynamic of my partner’s and my relationship has really changed-- and for the best. Having him to call up when I’m feeling down or just to talk to when I’m playing video games is something I am lucky to have.

It’s amazing that this distance between us has actually made us closer in spirit. This is something I would’ve never guessed, always having pushed away long-distance relationships in the past. In these past few weeks I’ve learned a lot about myself, and they have been some of the most fun memory filled weeks of my life.

So to anybody out there second guessing being in a long distance relationship or even second guessing their current long distance relationship, here’s my experience. Of course every relationship is different, but from what I’ve found out about myself and having this distance between me and my partner has given me a new positive perspective. I love my long distance relationship and I wouldn’t change it for anything.