Recently, my long time boyfriend moved across the country for a job in California. Here's what I've learned in the two months we've been apart (so far).
1) The first week apart sucks.
The heartbreak I felt dropping Austin off at the airport was inconcieveable. I thought I was going to be a total mascara-drenched mess. But I had a completely unexpected reaction; I felt so numb. The sadness didn't hit me until two days in. By that point, it was starting to set in that I wouldn't be seeing him for over two months. Pro-tips for surviving the initial emotional breakdown include good girlfriends, wine and lots of ice cream.
2) Communication is everything.
When Austin and I lived in the same area, we never had an issue with communication. We texted constantly and saw each other as often as we could. But we quickly learned that long distance would be much more of a challenge for us.
3) Your schedules won't always match up- and that's okay.
I knew going into this chapter of our relationship that my boyfriend and I were going to have vastly conflicting schedules. First of all, there is a three hour time difference between California and Georgia. Add that on top of his new full time job, my classes and my internship; finding time to talk can become virtually impossible. Our solutions to this problem have been scheduling times when we can talk on the phone and sending little thoughtful texts throughout the day.
4) Making plans for when you get to see each other becomes an obsession.
We knew I would be making my way out to visit ASAP, and coming up with our plans for my trip became a hobby for us. California has so much to offer, and I knew I wouldn't be able to stay for more than a few days. We became hooked on finding the coolest beaches, restaurants, and sights to see along with planning out our activities for the duration of my stay. It helped us to focus on the future and not how much we were missing each other, and it really gave us something to look forward to.
5) FaceTime dates can be as fun as real dates (almost).
I would highly recommend finding a show the two of you love to watch and recording it to watch on FaceTime together. This is a fun way to talk about stuff other than work and aspects of your daily routines. Plus, it really makes you feel like you're together.
6) Overthinking the situation will make everything worse.
Over these last two months, I've found myself reminiscing on the past and wondering about the future. The memories we have together keep me going, but I have found the future to be rather stressful and scary. There is a large amount of uncertainty associated with long distance. Will this work out? What happens next? What do I need to make this relationship succeed? Overthinking has led us to argue some, and caused us both additional stress. I've learned that there is not point in worrying about the future because it's something you have no control over. You can't allow overthinking to sabotage your relationship.
7) Seeing cute couples may cause an occasional breakdown.
One time, I was out with one of my close friends and happened to see a couple hugging and posing for a picture together. I had been in a perfectly fine mood prior to this, but once I saw them looking so happy together, I kind of lost it. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and my throat getting tight. It really hit me how much I missed Austin, and how much he meant to me. After I was able to compose myself, I turned this sadness into appreciation. He is still in my life, just in a different way and I'm very thankful for that.
8) It's not going to be easy, and it may not be a smooth ride, but it is possible.
I'm not going to sit here and lie- long distance is one of the hardest things I have ever done in a relationship. It's lonely, frustrating at times, stressful and difficult. It is easy to lose sight of what you have together when you're so far apart. You're going to make mistakes, get into arguments and have those days where you wonder why you even do it anymore. And then you'll get that random "I miss you" text and it'll all make sense again. Love is worth it, and being together in the end is the most incredible experience.
