It's hard, it sucks, and it doesn't get easier.
Not what you want to hear when you're in a long distance relationship, is it?
But it's true. It's not fun and it can be emotionally taxing especially when all you want to do is spend time with your best friend.
I've been dating my boyfriend for almost five and a half years, and five of those years have been long distance. Yikes, right? Yep. We know. I've had girls ask me before how we do it, and I tell them it takes a lot of trust, communication, and the belief that it's worth it.
Trust is so important. If you don't have trust in a relationship, what's the point in being in a relationship? No one wants to be in a constant state of worry, or stressing about the loyalty or faithfulness of the other. Clear this up simply by talking. And if you feel uncomfortable talking about it, then maybe there are some other underlying issues.
That goes into communication. Talking problems out, voicing opinions, and getting it all out on the table is how you can avoid all drama and misunderstandings. I'd like to think my boyfriend and I are a no-BS kind of couple, and I wouldn't have it any other way. We try not to assume, we always respect each other's views and opinions, and we fix the problem ASAP so it's not strung out longer than it needs to be.
Let your significant other be their own person and let yourself be your own person, too. It's hard to not want to go see them every weekend so you can spend literally as much time as possible with them, but I think it's necessary. Obviously, you need to set aside weekends or occasions to visit each other, but take the time you two have apart as a time for yourself and personal growth.
Don't be so solely dependent on the other than you can't even function without them. Be your own person. When I don't get to see my boyfriend for weeks at a time, I don't sit and mope around. I'm sad for a little bit, but I get on with reality and still exist as my own person. I mean, what else can you do? You have to wait to see them anyways, so make the best of the time apart and just get excited about the next visit.
With that being said, don't overkill the boyfriend talk so everyone else around you has to suffer as well. It's okay to talk about missing them with your friends, but there's a fine line between venting and being totally obsessed.
This comes back to the "be your own person" thing. No one wants to hang out with the girl who doesn't shut up about her boyfriend and how much she misses him and how he's perfect and he's the one and he did this and he did that and jdklahjdakjwlcapojsd.
Journal it if you must.
If you're in a long distance relationship and you're on the fence about cutting it off or strapping up for the long-haul, ask yourself if it's going to be worth it. Are they someone you can see yourself within five years? Ten... even 20? For the rest of your life?
If you can't, then cut it off. Don't drag it out, don't act like everything will work itself out, and don't lead on the other person. My boyfriend went off to college when I was still in high school, and I've always told him to break it off if I ever seemed like I was holding him back, if he just wanted to be single, or if there was someone better.
There's less hurt feelings if you're upfront about any problems, so communication is very key. Communication is really all you have anyway, so use it.
As for us, we think it's worth it. I'm not sure who else in the world I could love as much as him (besides my parents of course) and I wouldn't change our long distance relationship for anything. I know it's helped us grow individually, as well as together. It really sucks on the bad days, but it's all worth it as soon as we're reunited again.
Love ya, Derek.
