It's been almost four months since I moved four hundred miles away from my home, friends, and everything familiar. I knew that when I chose to attend a university in another state, I really would completely be starting my life over. Coming home every other weekend is not an option for me, which means the only form of contact I have with my friends and family is over a technological connection.
At orientation week, I was told that college is where you will truly find your friends for life. I was also told that those connections would start within the first few weeks, and those would be the people you stayed friends with, well, forever. If this is the case, I am totally screwed.
If I am being honest with myself, my social life is not panning out to what I hoped it would. I imagined that by this point in time, I would have three or four decent friends to spend the weekends with and the occasionally week day trip. Four months into my first year, my best friend is my roommate, and I have one other friend that I occasionally go out with on the weekends. I moved from a small town high school to a medium sized college, and I have never felt more alone in my life.
A couple weeks ago, I went home from the first time, and all my close friends made sure they came home the same weekend. When I finally saw all three of them, I wanted to burst into tears. I craved to be with the people that understood me, the people I didn't have to explain anything to, and the people I loved the most. You never value the importance and comfort of being around people who just get you, until all of it is gone.
One friend of mine attends college only forty minutes from our home town, and about the same size as mine. I noticed from our Skype conversations that she was having no trouble fitting in, and had already gone on several weekend trips with numerous friends. While my other two friends were in the same boat as I am, and struggling for a social life. She made one statement that made me get a glance at what I was experiencing at Moorhead, except from the other side. She stated "I swear, UNI is different from every other college out there. People come from all over the community that never even knew each other, and suddenly you're all best friends. You find people you played sports against, or went on the same mission trip with you, it's incredible the connections you make so fast." Everything made sense to me in that moment. What she was experiencing was the same thing all my classmates at Moorhead were experiencing. Most people at MSUM are from the Fargo-Moorhead area, and all found their connections by meeting people they played in sports or had a friend who knew this person who knew them. No wonder everyone seemed to find their group so fast during orientation week. UNI is no different from Moorhead, or any other college when it comes to socialization. It's all a matter if you're from the community and can make easy connections, or if you're from the outside and have to start completely over.
As an out-of-state student, I expected to struggle with my social life. There are times when I do enjoy being alone, and doing my own thing. However, I find myself talking more and more to my friends from home, always wanting to call my mom, heck, I'll talk to anybody I don't have to explain my entire life to. The comfort of having people around that understand me is absent, and I feel it everyday.
Even though I have a slow start to my social life at college, I have made enough acquaintances through my one friend that I feel a connection to Moorhead. I find myself feeling alone and homesick these days, but thankfully MSUM is a place that definitely feels like home. The students here are all polite and accepting of everyone's differences. I have yet to meet a rude soul on this campus. All of my professors are inspiring and understanding, and all are adults I feel comfortable talking to. I believe that the loneliness I feel is very minor compared to what I would feel if I attended anywhere else.
Life from home is not easy for us out-of-state students, or those that are attending college a few hours from home. When you are not from the community, it can be difficult to find those connections that easily happen when you are. We usually can't go home when we really want to, which can take a mental tole on us. However, remember that there are other people that feel the same way you do, you just have to find each other.
A big huge thanks to my roommate. Without her, adjusting to college would have been a messy struggle. I have her to thank everyday for keeping me mentally happy, smiling, and for being able to tell her anything; and she knows very well that I do tell her everything. She's just that amazing.
PS: I have managed to find one person at MSUM from Iowa, and I'm only assuming that because he wears A LOT of Hawkeye gear. I wish you all could experience the intense stare down that occurs when I am wearing my Cyclone sweatshirt and fuzzy socks. Go Cyclones!
