Fort Worth, Texas - Seeking to appropriately express his endearment for an acquaintance, local Kyle Coster struggled to properly phrase a “Happy Birthday” message to be posted on an old friend’s Facebook wall.

“Bridget [Thompson] was always a joy to be around, but we’ve regretfully parted ways since high school,” said the 20-year-old, only becoming aware of Thompson's birthday after receiving a notification earlier that morning. “I want to show my support and recognition of her existence, but I don’t want to overdo it and look like a creep.”

He then detailed a handful of examples to reporters in which he faced adversity while creating an appropriate Facebook birthday post.

"Just this past week, I had four friends with birthdays on the same day. Even though I only interact with one of them routinely, we're all mutual friends. So I spent forty-five minutes crafting tailored posts for each of them."

When questioned why he spends so much time on meaningless social media posts, Coster did not have much to say.

"If I put forth the effort, it will be reciprocated, I hope," said Coster. "When my birthday comes around, all these people I'm marginally familiar with will remember me, 'Kyle Coster, the quiet fellow that sat diagonally from me in Calculus,' and they'll write a similarly fond message on my Facebook wall."

When questioned further on the matter, Coster reluctantly took a phone call. Many reporters at the scene noted that his phone, in fact, may not have been ringing.

Later that evening, Coster's press secretary released a statement saying that when the time came, his birthday message to Ms. Thompson wished her the best of days, a light hangover and that they should meet up for coffee soon. The community is anxiously awaiting the response from Thompson, may it be a "like," or even a commented reply.