The ole party house, if its beer covered walls could speak they would have some great, and strange, stories to tell. The floors are creaky and coated in mud. The walls have holes in random places from that night someone had a few too many at the bar. The sink is consistently full of dishes. There is a strange aroma throughout the house that smells like a mix of beer, old food, and bad decisions. The outside walls have layers of dirt and mold that have not been cleaned in years, and the basement is regularly flooded with one to three inches of standing muddy water.

She’s a beauty, and a beast at the same time. She probably should have been condemned years ago, but she is still kicking. The rooms are big and littered with spilled beer from allowing too many people to take shots. The couches have been in the living room for years, with many more to come. There’s that one ancient TV that somehow has survived spilled beer after spilled beer, and is honestly just too big for anyone to want to move before it dies.

The garbage is always full, and people are always swinging by for an occasional beer or to watch the game. It was one of the first places you ever went to a party at, and you will probably come back to it years from now when you stumble into town on a game day. Some call it disgusting and some call it unlivable, a sanctuary for debauchery and bad decisions, but for me -- I call it home.

There comes a point, in every young college male's life when he thinks it would be a great idea to move into the party house, and in some ways it is a great idea and will provide memories to last a lifetime; but that does not mean there aren’t times where the tenants look back and wonder “how do I live in this hell hole.” All and all, I love living in a tailgate/party house. It presents a unique experience, giving you nice memories, teaching you how to clean, and helping you grow up by realizing that you can not live like this forever. The following is a list of the pros and cons of living in a party house, from a seasoned tenant.

The pros:

1. You are close to campus. You do not have to call a beeper to go to the pregame, or tailgate since it is where you live.

2. You pregame at the place everyone else has to go to after their pregame.

3. You get a lot of really cool free stuff that people leave at your house.

4. You accumulate a large assortment of random cups, plates, and knives.

5. You do not have to buy pots, pans, silverware, or cups because they are passed down.

6. You have an easy walk to the bars.

7. You have a lot of trash cans.

8. You have about seven refrigerators.

9. You have large rooms.

10. If you want to get away from the party you can go to your room.

11. You normally control the music. (Until that one girl figures out your laptop password and plays Nick Jonas and Beyoncé until someone kicks her off.)

12. You save a lot of money from not having to buy a parking pass or call beepers or cabs.

13. You normally have a good amount of help cleaning up.

14. Everyone knows where you live and loves to come by.

The cons:

1. People leave dishes, cups, and silverware everywhere and you have to clean it up even though it probably wasn’t one of the tenants.

2. You are constantly cleaning.

3. Sometimes you just want a night off and everyone else wants to have people over so you have to go somewhere else to get away.

4. Everything gets broken.

5. You can not put your beer, or food in the kitchen or people will drink/eat it when they come over.

6. You have to babysit people You are never sure which cup is yours, so you seldom finish your drinks.

7. If you let people hangout in your room or put their stuff in your room your room will be full of random peoples things/empty beers until you clean and tell them to get it.

8. The whole house smells but you have become accustomed to the smell and are confused when people ask why it smells like stale beer.

9. If you have a garbage disposal people think you can put anything in it (limes, silverware, full meals, shot glasses, beer tops, etc…) and it inevitably breaks on a regular basis.

10. You feel bad when you have to kick people out.

11. Girls are klepto's and steal everything from razors, dental floss, and toothpaste, to that really cool fraternity shirt you have.

12. Girls also love leaving things in your bathtub during their special time of the month if the trash fills up.

13. Girls also go to the bathroom four at a time, leading to other things happening in your bath tub.

14. You have to walk around the house and shower with flip-flops on.

15. You never have paper towels or toilet paper because people use it all.

16. People forget that it is not just a party house, but also where people live, and disrespect it as if the houses sole purpose was to throw parties.

17. The old TV that’s been in the living room for 10 years is not HD and does not have HDMI inputs.

18. The floors are consistently coated with about seven layers of caked mud and beer and it takes two hours to mop.

19. You are scared to let your parents come into town to see it because you don’t want them thinking you live in a pig pen.

20. You are probably going to lose your entire security deposit.

21. You can not study at home, thus you must walk or drive to the library to get anything done.

22. You have to deal with noise complaints.

23. You have to lock your doors if your not home and you have to hide your valuables since your door doesn’t work very well.

24. People get confused why you are a senior living in a party house, and how you deal with it on a regular basis.

Double-edged swords:

1. You have your supply of alcohol whenever you have a party or pre-game, and it is easy to access.

This backfires because it is also easy to access for other people.

2. You have a love/hate relationship with your landlord.

3. There are always people swinging by to hangout, grab a beer, or watch whatever games on.

This backfires when you have homework or other things to do and you just want to have some peace and quiet.

4. It is a very close walk to the bar.

This backfires when you have other things you need to do, but think you can just swing by the bar for a little and come back and take care of those things.

5. There are always people at the house after the bar.

This backfires when you just want to come home and go to sleep.

6. People consistently leave full cases of beer around the house, or in your room.

This backfires because people also consistently leave empty cases of beer and empty beers around the house or in your room to clean up.

7. You do not have to buy any furniture for the common area because it is all passed down to the next group that lives there.

This backfires because it is seldom nice furniture, and you have no clue what has been done to or on that furniture over the years.