This afternoon was an afternoon full of wisdom. You know when you have those days where you just get into a long tangent of thought, becoming filled with insight and kind of have a "Come to Jesus" moment? Something the Lord has been trying to tell you for a while, but you just weren't understanding. Yes, this afternoon God tugged hard at my heart and he reeled me in to finally listen to what he's been hinting at me for a while now. I was having lunch with one of the sweetest of friends when she asked me, "Have you sat down with the Lord and evaluated what your goals are for this year?" Goals? Like an actual list of them? I had never even thought about doing that. We all have our goals: to get a position in an organization, to get a 4.0, etc.; but when do we talk to God about our goals in Him and actually, truly listen for guidance. What. A. challenge.
I had to be honest with myself and her and be straight up, "No, I really haven't taken the time to sit with the Lord in that." But man, now was I excited to. And that is just what I did this afternoon, and God revealed big things to me through conversation and prayer that my world feels completely rocked at this moment. I want to shout it from the mountaintops that the Lord is GOOD AND MIGHTY in what He wants for his good and faithful!
As I continued to ponder this question of goals, I began to really see the direction that the Lord is leading me to and where He wants me to go. He shook me saying, "Child, why are you so afraid? Don't you know I am with you wherever you go? I want you to stop living in fear and start living in freedom!!" Something came over me, a sort of peace. It's hard to explain, but I felt like I was unchained and set free from bonds that have been holding me down for years. I started to evaluate my life and see, what does living without fear really look like? This is what God has exposed to me.
It is knowing that His plan is greater than mine and genuinely believing it. We are worried people, we wonder where we are going to be in 10 years and what we are going to be doing with our life and where we will end up. It gets us so worked up for no reason because in the end, God is the one in control and He is going to work it out, so why worry? It is easy to say "Lord I trust you" but it is much harder to believe that in your heart. Deep down, do you really trust it that His plan is better than anything you could ever imagine? It's something to think about.
It is living with pure joy, despite your situation. Life isn't perfect, it is not supposed to be, but we are told to celebrate our trials because with them comes perseverance (James 1:2-3)! It is taking on the curve balls that life is throwing at you and hitting a home run. There is too much goodness in our lives to be angry. So, you failed that test or didn't get into the organization that you wanted, continue to find joy! I'm not saying not to feel upset, you deserve to be sad, but don't let it take over. Be reminded of the blessings you have and rejoice!
It is not being tied down by your sin. We sin, and we sin a lot. That in itself is inevitable. We feel guilt and conviction. That, too, is inevitable. This is something that I really struggle with. I feel like I am not worthy of forgiveness. Why did Jesus have to die a death that I deserve? It just doesn't make sense. But you know what? He did so because He loves you. A whole lot. And He died willingly for every single one of you. Not only that, He overcame that death, rising from the grave. Oh, what a Savior!! I came to the realization that because of His triumph over death that I can now walk in freedom, and I should do so willingly. God doesn't want me to feel defeated, He wants me to walk in the light of His forgiveness! No more backing down, but more of furthering His kingdom in complete boldness!
A life without fear is a life full of wonder and full of awe. A life full of adventure and full of wisdom. Break every chain of doubt and walk with me in utter freedom. Be thankful, be joyful, and follow His call. Be the good and faithful. Live without fear. I leave you with a verse that this friend mentioned to me and that I am now etching onto my heart:
“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green." -Jeremiah 17:7-8
