I was born and raised as an only child. Yes, that's right, I have no siblings. I’ve gotten the question fairly often; Do you wish you had siblings? And my answer is sometimes, yes.
“WHAT?” “WHY?” “I’m jealous” “Take my sister” “I would love to be an only child” are some of the phrases I hear in response.
Although this aspect of my identity has shaped the person I am, I’m here to put to rest all the common misconceptions that I’ve heard on a day to day basis.
Being the only child means that we are framed as spoiled, selfish, and entitled. We are told we are “so lucky” because we can get whatever we want, whenever we want it. But no, this isn’t always a reality. Being an only child does not always mean living a positive, self-centered world where we just take. And frankly, I would not want to be this type of person or live in that way.
Although it has its definite perks, it also means that I do not have any siblings to look up to, go to for advice or to be the role model for. I have no protective older brother to look out for me, or younger sister that I can look out for. I open the door to an empty house on most days, and it does get lonely. I had no instant best friend, only the ones I made in school, and this can be difficult, in a world where friendships seem to always be changing.
Yes, I am lucky to get nice gifts on the holidays and to go on extravagant vacations.
But no, I would not say I expect it all to be handed to me. I am fortunate for all I have and that I am provided with certain luxuries in life. I am appreciative of all I can do.
Yes, I guess you can say I “get all the attention.”
But no, the thing is, I am not attention seeking. I am independent and my parents have lives too, outside of me.
Yes, it is nice to not be compared to others.
But no, I must lead my own path, and cannot follow in footsteps of another. I am forced to make the decision that is right for me personally, and not what my siblings have done or will do.
Yes, I don't have to share things in the house and what I receive does not have to be split among multiple children.
But no, I am not egocentric. I am considerate of others, and have learned not to take what I have for granted.
Yes, I acknowledge that I can go away to college, and that all funds go towards me in this sense.
But no, I did not pick the most expensive school because there was no other kid in the picture. I worked for this achievement, and to get into a great school. I am practical and know that other children cannot go to college because of financial reasons, so I am thankful.
Yes, sure I can be spoiled.
But no, I don’t always act like it. I am modest, I do not show off or brag. I earn what I get, and I am not simply just handed things. I work for them just as much as anyone else does. I would not be content with being handed everything, earning what I have is way more satisfying.
I realize there is more to life then materials. I am realistic, independent, and down to earth. I have my head on my shoulders and most would be surprised to discover that I am an only child based on the way I act. I can be simple, and the little things make me happy in life just as much, if not more than the bigger things.
I’m not going to lie, I know my life would be very different if I had a sibling, but I am who I am. So please take this all into consideration, before you judge.