"I've gone from a prime athletic prospect, to suicidal loner. I survived, and no one would have guessed even the surface of the situation from the outside looking in."

I moved to Greenwood, SC when I was 3 years old and I grew up here. I had a relatively normal childhood, growing up in a white middle-class family. Ever since I was little, I was always very outgoing and was throughout my childhood.

During elementary school I was always the kid that had to be told to be quiet, and the kid that was accepted by his peers. Going into Middle School, my attitude and mindset stayed the exact same. I was always getting into something where I was openly putting myself on the line; my face and voice were always present. I was a tall, blond-headed baseball player, who had straight A's, and all the confidence in the world. Most of my friends were baseball players, due to having played the game since I was 6 years old; I was fully invested in friendships across three different teams that I played for. Things started to change when I went into 8th grade. I was then starting to play with some very serious teams out of different cities in South Carolina not to mention also playing for my high school team. Scouts for playing baseball were my overall focus, and to impress them was my goal.

My life's mission was now to attract the attention of collegiate scouts to play baseball on a college level. Up until the age of 15, concluding my freshman high school season, everything had been going exactly planned. I was getting offers from Division 2 schools all over the surrounding states, and looks from several Division 1 schools across the nation. And as cliche as it is, disaster then struck me with a heavy and swift fist.

At age 15, while I was attending a youth retreat to the mountains in North Carolina, I suffered a very serious knee injury while skiing. This is where the whole story changes, a swift slash into my once understood future.

I had torn my ACL, MCL, and meniscus tissue(s) completely.

As I woke up from having been sedated, I found myself in my parents kingsize bed where I would be almost bed-ridden for two weeks. When I initially had the surgery, several days after, I developed an infection in my knee. We had to wait for the infection to heal before I could really be in the clear with starting my rehabilitation.

When I was essentially bed-ridden for two weeks, I noticed something very specific. The "friends" that I had cherished for many years, were nowhere to be found; in addition, none of them inquired as to how I was. This was a pivotal moment for me, I realized that I had no one around me that I had come to know. I was alone for the most part, 2 weeks without much outside contact while I healed. This situation is what psychologically and physiologically altered my brain/mind.

This is the moment where my chronic depression first sprouted.

At first, I could easily reconcile within my own mind as to why I felt overly depressed for a while. One month went by, three months, six months, and then a full year... still feeling the cold grip of crippling sadness and self-loathing. I eventually began questioning whether or not I could process as to why I was washed in melancholy. This mystery tortured me from age 15 to 17; I began experiencing crippling migraines, I began developing self-destructive tendencies, and I was losing hope for any sort of future for myself.

The build up of unexplainable emotion, combined with an irregular fluxuation of dopamine in my brain was driving my psyche to its breaking point. Rationality escaped me, it wasn't a concern of mine at the time. I was overwhelmed by the dramatic chemical imbalance in my brain and began having thoughts of suicide. To me, at this point in time in my life, my psyche was so uncontrollable and erratic that suicide seemed like a very legitimate way out of my cycle of madness.

After forcing my parents to take me to see medical professionals concerning my mental health, I began taking antidepressants of which I still take on a daily basis. This countermeasure was able to provide me with a rough structure of emotional balance and psychological stability.

Shortly after I began taking antidepressants I met a very special young woman of whom I would be in a very serious relationship with for 11 months. I won't go into details concerning our relationship but what I can say is that our breakup was the biggest stepping stone I had to cross since beginning to take my medication. I was absolutely and wholeheartedly in love with this girl, and we abruptly broke up in November of 2014. She lied to me about why she wanted to end the relationship, but after several days of longing for the truth she revealed to me the truth of her betrayal.

She informed me that she simply couldn't handle my anxiety and depression. I paused and began to attempt to process what she had confessed to me. A woman who claimed to love me, a woman that I had invested my effort and soul, spat a remark like that in face. Now I want you to imagine a significant other, an individual with whom you've spent a considerable amount of personal time, ending your relationship over something in your life that is out of anyone's control. To say the least, it affected me tremendously. It has been almost two years, and it still haunts me to this day. But even so, I have been able to properly cope with the situation, which has been a key part in convincing myself that I'm getting better.

Depression comes in many forms, of which is not prejudice in any way. Depression is a very real and quite prevalent mental illness among all ethnicities, all sexes, all ages, and all tax brackets. Different developing tendencies and the results of their implied actions are not a way of demanding attention. They are a psychological, and physiological release of built up anxiety, being expressed in a specific way. I was a thriving athlete, who was suddenly struck by a debilitating mental illness. I was the last person that anyone would have suspected to have been feeling this way.

Depression is very real, and depression not a choice. Never dismiss anyones mental health, but watch for indicators in everyone close to them.