For as long as I could remember, everyone had known as the happiest, smiliest, and the most positive little girl anyone could ever meet. And for a while, that was true. I was generally happy and always tried to make the best out of any situation. That all began to change when I turned 13.
I went to a very small Catholic school up until I reached high-school, and while I was there, I was constantly bullied by most of my classmates. I tried to get help from the school, but the best advice they could give me was that I just had to ignore the bullying. That didn't necessarily go well for my mental health because after that, I began to hold in all of my emotions and only displayed the emotion that everyone wanted to see from me, happiness.
Because I constantly held in all my emotions, I never got the true mental health help that I needed until I started college. I had done okay in high-school, but I didn't push myself to my full potential and that really showed when it came around for me to start applying to schools. At the time, I was in my first year of college and I was trying my hardest to make new friends and cope with all of my new surroundings, but it wasn't working. I could barely get out of bed for days on end, my grades began to slip, and I started spending money that I did not have. Something had to change.
I began to see numerous therapists and psychiatrists where I was soon officially diagnosed with bipolar depression. After my diagnosis, I decided to take some time off and reevaluate my life. So, I left school and took a two and a half year long gap from school. That ended up being one of the best decisions that I ever made. Not only did I finally figure out what I wanted to do in the future, but I gained the coping skills needed for me to be able to succeed in my education.
Right now, I'm floating on water. I'm able to manage my mental health and school while balancing all of the extracurriculars needed for me to succeed. Having bipolar depression doesn't define who I am, but it is something that I have come to accept is apart of me. I will always have bipolar depression, but I won't let it stop me from reaching my dreams.
