This year I decided to move off campus as many other students do at DePaul. DePaul has an interesting custom that slightly differs from other colleges: most second years and up decide to move off campus after their first year from the regular style dorms. I was one of those students who decided to move off campus due to financial reasons and just for a change in scenery outside the place that I had gotten to know so well in the past year. I knew that it would be a new experience with a commute, my own place to live and the "adulting" things involved, but I did not think that being off campus would affect my second-year experience here to the extent that it is.

The first week felt good. I was living in 'my place' and I felt like an adult: my neighbors are not obnoxious college students, but rather actual adults with actual jobs, the area has restaurants, bars, and boutiques, I have a commute every day like an adult and all the other special things that come with living in an apartment. But as the days wore on (which seem to get longer and longer every day, but pass by in a heartbeat), a new issue came to my attention. When living off campus, one can not afford to stay out late or forget things or mess anything up in the day. And within all of this, a quiet loneliness also began to settle into my day to day life.

Staying out late, of course, is something that I used to do often when I lived on campus because there seemed to always be a sense of security on campus. Once you get off the stop for DePaul, you felt okay: Public Safety is there and other students are roaming around campus getting back from who knows where as well. But once you live off campus, there are no students roaming around, or Public Safety cars patrolling the area or any sense of safety of a campus. It's the real world all the time, besides classes, of course. It's quite scary even with a roommate.

And of course, forgetting things can be a dangerous game, especially when you have to commute to wherever you have to go for work or school. Done that once so far. Definitely would not recommend. And anything else that involves messing up the day should be avoided (to the best of our abilities, yes, I understand we are not perfect) because the bad things domino into everything and you can't even get home right away to feel better.

Among all this chaos, the feeling of loneliness seeps in. You become so busy, that you don't have time to interact with other people on a social basis for too long, and inviting them over or going to their place requires planning. Impromptu hangouts become extremely inaccessible and I wish I could, but I can't just climb a flight of stairs up to a friend's room anymore. Even with a roommate, the busy nature of second-year life makes it so that our paths don't cross until the late evening. It's a whirlwind of pressure and stress that makes you feel extremely alone in this endeavor. I'm new to this feeling, but I am learning to cope with it.

All of these new situations and emotions that I've felt, just by living off campus have shifted the way I see adulthood. Yes, I knew about the 'adulting' that we all dread: cleaning your own things, paying your bills, working, cooking and responsibilities (what a big word); but I didn't know the emotional and the physical fatigue that comes with doing all of it. Now, I see how truly hard adulthood is. I'm going through it now and everything can be extremely overwhelming. There's so much to be done and not enough time without enough resources. I've felt pretty pessimistic about the entire situation, but now that I know what adulthood truly means, I've got to learn to live with it. The next few years are only going to get more complicated; this will hopefully become second nature to me and something I hope to be able to cope and understand better.