I’ve been an intensely competitive person my whole life. I’m an only child, but spent my childhood with my older male cousins and with my grandfather. They taught me to be strong, conniving, and to stick to my guns. As a result, I often find myself going the extra mile to be the best at whatever I’m doing. I don’t easily accept “no,” and it’s taken a lot for me to learn that there is such a thing as constructive criticism. I accept bets from my boyfriend all the time, whether it be “I bet you can’t eat that glob of wasabi” or “I bet you can’t leg press 90 pounds one hundred times” and I often come out victorious because I refuse to be told that I can’t do something (no matter how much pain I’ll be in as a result.)

Since I’m so competitive, I wholeheartedly disagree with participation trophies. I fiercely believe that the only reason to play a game or sport is to win. I often see parents complaining that their children deserved an award that they didn’t receive or that they didn’t receive enough playing time or that a call was incorrect or whatever else. Here’s the deal: If your child was disciplined and played well enough, they would have received their reward. Kids these days are conditioned to believe that the world owes them something just for existing. I disagree.

Sports are great for kids and teenagers because they teach them something about life: there will always be a rotating door of highs and lows. One day, your team goes out and wins by nine runs and you hit a grand slam. The next, they lose by six and your kid strikes out every at-bat. The important thing is to get back out on the diamond and give it your all; don’t lose your excitement or passion for something just because you get knocked down.

There will always be a winner and a loser. In any sport, in any aspect of life, there is always competition. Sometimes you win, and that’s great! But sometimes you lose, and you have to accept that loss graciously and come back stronger next time around. Accept your participation trophy if you must, but don’t take too much pride in it. The pride comes from within when you know that you’ve done your best, win or lose. I hope to teach my children that one day. I hope they know that I’m always proud of them, but I also hope that they know that there is always room for improvement. Never stop advancing and bettering yourself.