So many mental diseases coming to light and we know all the signs to look for. We know the signs of depression as someone sleep more and lose all motivation to live their life. We see the kids with anxiety and we notice that they are squirrelly and trying to catch their breath. We see the kids, who self-harm hiding their wrists in fear, yet we miss one of the most common ones in this day and age and that is high functioning anxiety.
High functioning anxiety is a form of anxiety that is harder to identify. As the anxious thoughts rush through the head of someone with this mental illness they are planning or working or moving faster to bury the thoughts. They don’t get the traditional pull back of normal anxiety. Looking at them and watching their behavior does not give any clue as to when they are about to explode. They are the ones that give no sign to the fact that in almost every moment they need to be reassured and held dear to the heart.
Automatic thoughts are part of the daily “routine” that many of these individuals have set up. They spend most of their lives overthinking every situation that they are ever in. Seeing someone in the hall even becomes a challenge and fear filled activity. Many think of the repercussions of waving and saying hi. They convince themselves that no one loves them and that no one wants them around. They say things and automatically think that they have said too much and they overreact in their own minds to things that should be lighthearted jokes. They do not people well and can’t even send a text without overanalyzing how annoying they sound to the person they are sending it to.
When you have high functioning anxiety every task becomes one that takes more work than usual, yet you look so calm like you can do anything. When you are at work it you are in constant worry that you will mess up and get fired. You can be one of the best people at the job and you will convince yourself you can’t do it. You spend the day convincing yourself that you will never be enough or that you will always be too much, but on top of it you will continue working so that no one sees the painstaking worry that is ever so close in your mind.
The more the world wants you to be okay the more anxious and forced your smile becomes. When you have high functioning anxiety everything becomes a major task and nothing can hide that as well as moving. You move and move and move until you can’t anymore and you cripple into isolation. High functioning anxiety is hidden by the act of moving forward and pretending everything is okay. High functioning anxiety is getting everything you can done while fearing that nothing will ever go right. High functioning anxiety is hidden, untalked about, and one of the worst things to live with and one of the worst to witness first hand.
