Recently I've been getting asked how I do it? How do I keep my zen in the midst of my roaring 20s. Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing, but whatever I am doing seems to be working. Some days I'm amazing, my smile can light anyone's day. Other days, I'm just drained (solely blamed on my lack of sleep) like I could use a colon cleanse. So I'm going to give you the run down of what gets me through most of my days .
1. Let Go of Comparing
We all do it. I wish someone would come up to me and told me they didn't because I would so call them out on it. We compare ourselves to others and where we are based on what we observe them to be doing. Haven't you ever noticed, it's not about how many people cheer you on. If you can't get on your own side, you'll never get past "go". In comparing ourselves with others, we more than often end up judging ourselves.
Instead of training our minds to compare, why don't we reflect this energy and keep the comparison within? We're always becoming more of the person we were yesterday. Who you are today is a reflection of the decisions you made yesterday.
We are always in a state of creation.
2. Stay present
Sounds a little bit redundant, right? Where else could you possibly be that's not right here, right now. We get depressed because we linger in the past. Our minds wonder on what could of been or what should have been. This leads us to dark path down the rabbit hole.
Once you're stuck in the past, you begin to think of the future. You begin to fear what it could bring to you. Turning you into this resentful creature, not you or your family recognizes. From time to time, I drift off into this place, not recognizing the damage it's doing to my present reality. When we hold onto guilt, resentment, and fear we alternate our reality to become all of these things.
We are always in a state of creation.
3. Let go of anger
OK, so honestly this is probably the most difficult and easiest thing to do (such an oxymoron). Just don't give up on me yet! I used to be such a hot head growing up, like honestly it wasn't attractive what-soever. Everything and anything ( and I mean anything) could set me off, it wouldn't take much more than five minutes for you to get under my skin. Now? I'm such a happy person. I've come to the realization that every situation doesn't need a reaction. When you simply grasp that not everything is about you, you'll start reacting less.
I've learned to let go of the things I can't change. For example, I can't change the fact my laptop was stolen. That clearly made me really angry at the time, but if I held onto that anger it would only stress the situation. Instead, I bought a new coloring book and some colored pencils and went hard for hours.
Totally not saying take up coloring, but do take up a hobby. It helps more than you think, you might not be down for it at first or just too plain lazy. You'll find though that in doing so, you'll become more in touch with yourself. You'll find the things that anger you and you'll find your own coping mechanisms.
Worst comes to worst , you start visiting the office of counseling services, and they'll redirect you RIGHT back to this post.
4. Allowing and Letting Be
Buddha said that "it's not suffering holding you, that it's you holding on to suffering" You will find the closure you seek, the moment you realize that accepting and letting go is easier than holding on to a fantasy world. Not everything in your life is meant to be everlasting and beautiful. Sometimes people come into our lives to teach us right from wrong, to show us our potential, and simply love us unconditionally. However, unconditionally doesn't mean forever. We need to learn to thank these people for what they have done in our lives and let them go, regardless of the circumstances! By that I mean, just because our relationship ended on bad terms doesn't mean I shouldn't have the courage to apologize or forgive you for what transpired between us.
Forgiveness isn't about the other person, and making them feel good. It's about you, and your growth as a person. You forgive to allow yourself to move forward with your life and live in the present.
5. Have a laugh
And don't forget, love yourself ❤️