If you haven't already, at some point in your life it's inevitable you'll experience both the joys and the trials of having a roommate. For most millennials, this occurs for the first time during freshman year in college. If you were like me, you had a random roommate — what a terrible decision that can be — you communicated with electronically briefly before move-in week, and more or less took your chances.
I lived with my random roommate for less than an entire semester. During my college tenure, I had a total of eight different roommates in four years; my junior and senior year I lived off campus with three or four roommates each year. I got pretty used to always having someone around to hang out with. When I graduated, I moved back to my hometown and spent six months living with my original roommates — Mom and Pops.
If you haven't moved home for life after college, you're in for a real treat; don't worry, we'll talk about that on another occasion. Upon moving out of my parents house, I got my own place and a new roommate in the form of an old friend.
Having spent four years living with a multitude of people, having a roommate wasn't a foreign concept. In fact, it was a welcomed part of the transition into adulthood. I lived with this roommate for four years (almost to the day) and it was great. Rarely did we get pissed at each other, and generally we spent our free time hanging out with one another. He even brought a dog into the picture, which was another welcomed companion.
The only real regret I have is that we didn't follow through on buying those sweet race car beds from the garage sale down the street. Big mistake! However, after four years, hundreds of late nights, thousands of beers, and 5.5 seasons of "The Walking Dead," it was time for my roommate to spread his wings and leave the nest, despite my objections.
Of course, buying a home is a big deal, so I'm happy for him — deep inside I'm still bitter that he took that dog. After eight years of constant roommates, I found myself living alone for the first time at 27 years old. Adjustments needed to come swiftly, yet that proved to be no easy task. Here are the dos and don'ts to life after a roommate.
The Don'ts
Don't be dramatic.
It's human nature to want to fly off the handle and make huge changes when life throws you a curve ball, but here's a thought: you're an adult, act like one. Reverting to acting like a 5 year old isn't going to solve anything, and ultimately, makes you looks ridiculous. There is no need to redecorate the whole house, or make drastic changes the night your roommate moves out. The only thing that accomplishes is creating additional stress for yourself, and possibly some animosity between you and your former roommate.
Don't rush to find a new roommate.
The only time it's acceptable to wave goodbye to your old roommate, while posting an ad for a new one on Craigslist, is if it's a financial burden for you to live alone. In the best of cases, your roommate moved out for a good reason (i.e. bought a house, got married, got a promotion at work, won the lottery and bought an island — the usual stuff.) Rushing to find a new roommate, again creates unwanted stress and often ends badly. I could give you a made up statistic about how often a Craigslist ad for a roommate results in a lifelong friendship, but instead I'll leave you with this — people are crazy, don't risk it.
Don't become a recluse.
Unless you are a complete nut job to begin with, you probably have friends outside of your roommate. When a roommate moves out, don't use that as an excuse to hold up in your place and shut out the rest of the world. No one wants to come over and find you looking like Jimmy Fallon in "Fever Pitch" after Drew Barrymore broke his heart.
The Dos
Do enjoy the extra space you have.
Living with another person is never easy, no matter what all of those touchy-feely marriage books try to tell you. Enjoy the added space in your place, use that extra bedroom for an office space, a den, or a workout room. In order to use the space responsibly (you are an adult, after all) create something in that extra space — don't just hide boxes and ugly furniture that your grandma gave you.
Do invite people over more often.
Depending on the relationship you had with your roommate, you may not have been able to have people over during the week because of work schedules, or differences in friends, etc. Use this newfound solitude within your place to host house parties, create memories and have movie nights. This step really goes hand-in-hand with enjoying the extra space, because with all that extra space you have more room to party!
Do maintain the relationship with your former roommate.
The roommate relationship creates a unique bond between two people. Whether you are male or female, that person you have been living with has seen you at your best and your worst. They've been there for the late nights playing "Mario Cart" until 3:00 AM, and they've been there when you've woken up vomiting at Midnight. If they moved out while still on good terms with you, cherish that relationship and work hard to maintain it. It's likely that that person, regardless of whether or not you live with them, is someone you'll be able to count on in the future.
Adjusting to life after a roommate is no cake walk, and the last six months have been quite a transition period. Thanks to my roommate buying his own place and moving out, I've learned a lot about myself — including the fact that living with someone else definitely was a benefit to my cleanliness. To all the roommates out there: past, present, or future, here's to you! Cheers!