From my personal story, I have a lot of hardships that people will see as either bad or not so bad. By the end of the day, they are hardships nonetheless and nobody should ever have them. The tricky thing about the "human" experience though is that there will always be hardships, regrets and more negative emotion. This makes me understand why people tend to be so negative in their lives in which influences others. I am here to tell you now that it doesn't have to be that way…
Since 2016, I have had a lot of catching up to do to get my life back in order. At the same time, I was lucky since I didn't really have anywhere to go but up. I didn't have any dreams even though I was one of those stereotypical kids who always had a dream in mind. It didn't matter if it was to be an engineer for NASA, or be a writer and create stories. I had something to grasp and somewhat aim for.
By the time I graduated high school I had no clue what to do. I remember when the seniors had to meet for homeroom and give information about what college they were going to and what they wanted to do. No matter where I went in the school they even displayed those things to congratulate everyone one of those souls who had a path to follow. For me, I was a constant reminder that I had didn't have that.
Realistically, I was supposed to take a year off school until I found my footing. Then my mom, who I love dearly, was obvious about me doing that sooner rather than later. I never caught those hints and just followed what she presented to me. All of this was in a new town, a new state, and I place where I didn't really have much. Except for someone who I loved at the time. I will be first to admit that I was kind of jealous of her to a certain extent.
Next thing I knew I was going to a school because I was going with the flow and did what I thought people wanted me to do. I did three months of animation, and then I switched to a film program at that same school to test waters. It was a step in the right direction, but there was still a lot for me to do that I never realized. Eventually, all my negativity and closed-mindedness would push away someone who I was toxic to, and was toxic for me as well.
After going through a tremendous amount of feelings going up and down like a roller coaster. Even remembering what past my great uncle told me," As long as you do what you love. That is all the money you could ever ask for. Happiness." I decided to get my life back on track by focusing on all the good I had at the time and to build it up. During this journey, I learned I actually had depression for as long as I could remember. I didn't realize I was depressed until one feeling I had: this feeling was a sense of accomplishment and felt like colors in a black and white photo emerging.
I did one thing after another in order to be where I am at now. Currently, I go to a different school, in a different city, with supportive people in my life, accomplishments I never would've thought of doing, just finished my Bachelor's of Science, and starting on a Master's in Business. Then, exactly a year ago, my grandfather died. It sucked and all of the negative emotion I had before crashed back like a hurricane. Obviously, I took time to recuperate, but not for too long.
During that time I thought of what my grandfather would tell me if he saw me how I was at that moment. He would want me to continue on and do what I could for myself because he would be proud of me no matter what. After a week I did my grind at my school to get my Bachelors. Then just recently after the anniversary of my grandfather's death, which was also my last day of my Bachelor's program. I got into a car accident where luckily nobody luckily got hurt.
What happened though is still an eye-opener because it was rainy, the driver hydroplaned due to how fast they were going and the car was originally in a course to hit me dead-on. Fortunately, the driver was quick enough to turn left a little and hit the back end of the car in front of me. Leaving my car with the least amount of damage. In order to give visual of how fast they were going is that the car in front of me had the frame messed up enough to where it can't drive, and the car behind me was underneath the driver who caused the accident. Yes, the car was on top of the right side of the car behind me.
There is a reason for all this madness called life. Life can be shitty, hurtful and just a downward spiral. Life can also be something beautiful, unique and be one of the best experience for a human being. Please do one thing for me, and if you do I will be able to rest easy. Do what you want and need to do in order to be where you want to be. Have no regrets and as much minimal amount of cloudiness to push forward in whatever dark time you're. Live your life to the fullest because as far as we know… there is only one. We need to make our lives count. Not for anyone, but for yourself.
