So... I made a mistake.
Spring 2019 was a particularly rough time in my life. I went through a great deal of pain that I still haven't quite accepted as reality. During that time, I made a bold choice: I decided to leave Odyssey and give up on writing. I thought I'd fallen out of love with it all.
Looking back, I don't think that actually was the case. I was lost, miserable, and incredibly out of control of my life. I had no idea what to do, so I just gave up on what made me happy because I didn't know what I wanted. It sounds crazy, but it seemed to make sense at the time. Ever since I made that choice, I've felt a little empty and misguided.
Moreover, saying goodbye to Odyssey seemed like the right decision to make socially at the time. Eleanor Roosevelt once said "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent," and at that time, I gave that consent away freely. That's probably my biggest regret about the way I ended up here. I allowed certain people to dictate how I should feel about the things that I love, and that is absolutely not okay.
I've realized that I can no longer make the choices others want me to make. I have to step up and take my life in the direction I want it to go. And for the first time in a long time, that's exactly what I want to do. I want to fall back in love with the things that I love, I want to take my life back.
I have a long story to tell, but I'm not quite ready to tell it, mainly because I'm still living it. I hope I'll soon be able to say I've hit my rock bottom and am ready to rise like a phoenix, but only time will tell. For now, my focus is me and redefining who I am. It's time for me to be happy and to identify what I really want.
It's going to be quite the journey, but I hope you'll come along for the ride.
