Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the show! And boy, do we have a good one for you today...

While for many of you, this is your first trip with us here at Greyhound, some of us are veterans at this! And have we seen it all... As an elite rider of the Greyhound, I have enjoyed the pleasure of taking the bus for a few years now. So I have some tips, tricks, and reasons why next time you vaca, you should or should not take the bus. This is meant in no offense of those that regularly utilize public transportation because you have a gift many do not inhibit: patience.

After many go-arounds on the Greyhound, I can gauge how the trip is going to go just based on when I show up to the Greyhound station. I frequently ride between Phoenix and the Los Angeles area, and the bus I get on is typically coming from somewhere in Texas. My most recent trip, people were already lining up to board, but there were bad vibes... The people arriving in Phoenix had undergone quite some drama on their trip. With a bus's transmission going out, another's air conditioning breaking down in the middle of New Mexico, and a lady screaming through the night, let's just say these people were not looking forward to getting back on another bus that had been delayed about six hours... That's right. Six.

But nevertheless, I plugged my headphones in and prayed for a window seat while I waited to board. My biggest tip to you when riding the Greyhound anywhere: Bring headphones. And a trick of the trade, if you want to hear what crazy conversations occur on the bus but don't actually want to talk to anyone, put your headphones in with no music. You'll get sheer entertainment.

I do frequently wonder what it's like to be a Greyhound driver. The things THEY have seen... my last driver had to remind people that the use of crack pipes and George Foreman grills are not permitted on the bus. God, I hope those drivers get good benefits.

The bus is good for many reasons. If you don't own a car (like me) the bus is a lifesaver getting you quite a ways. If you don't have the means of paying for a flight, Greyhound is typically three times cheaper than an airline. And if you are someone that counts people watching as one of their favorite hobbies, take the Greyhound next time. But be warned; You will smell drugs at least once on the trip. You will hear at least an hour's worth of a conversation about drugs, legal and illegal. You will have someone yell to stop the bus. Someone will complain about the traffic. You will get asked for a "smoke". You will hold your bladder six hours because you DO NOT want to use the bus's restroom. And you will get to your destination, praise God.

Just know that those of us that take the Greyhound do not necessarily want to but we have to. I have come to find entertainment out of the adventure and it has sure saved me some bucks. I don't anticipate riding the bus the rest of my life, but for now, I keep my bus pants handy and so should you.